Thank you Richard Kory for sharing the "Locust-gate: Russia 2018" news with me.
Swarms of locusts are going to ruin the World Cup pitches this summer, according to Russian Agriculture Ministry official Pyotr Chekmarev.
"We took this statement in good jest. Locusts pose no threat to the football pitches. It is very short grass, and further to that it has been specially worked on," said Alexey Sorokin, head of the organizing committee. He later chuckled and coughed, "fake news", but quickly released another statement (amid unconfirmed reports that President Putin had been on the phone) that the Russia 2018 organizing committee does not wish to be associated in any way with a trend and a term initiated by the President of the big country that Russia is currently having some questionable relationships with.
Even later, video footage emerged of Sorokin with his old buddy Vitaly Mutko (former organizing committee head) laughing as they watched reports of the CAS overturning the lifetime bans imposed by the IOC on 28 Russian athletes. "Ha! We fooled them all, Lifetime bans? Bah? All we needed were some good lawyers. Locusts? Seriously? Who's that guy at the Ministry who thinks we can't talk our way out of a locust threat. By the way Alexey, how are you going to deal with those damn locusts?"
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