Day -577. WorldCup2018
What to do? What to write about? No qualifiers today. Ah, no worries. Along comes Alan Gasperoni with a gem. And he writes it for me too.
First the background. Germany beat San Marino 8-0 last week. It was not a surprise result. San Marino are always a good goal-difference booster. Yes, an eight goal win is on the high side of embarrassing, even for an amateur team playing the world champions. In comparison Estonia losing 8-1 against Belgium is off the scale of ridicule for the Estonians.
After Germany's win, Thomas Muller, the socks-rolled-down-to-his-ankles, important-goal scoring midfielder/centre forward said that playing matches like this, against mismatched opponents like San Marino is a waste of time for Germany. A pointless exercise, in a crowded fixture list. And a risk to German players health because of the bad pitch and the San Marino players' tough tackling. Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, Bayern Munich's Chairman (Mueller's club team) added his opinion, "San Marino has nothing to do with professional football."
Disrespectful. Shocking. Pompous. But they do have a point, don't they? Except they could have found a much nicer, more diplomatic way of saying, couldn’t they? Think of Donald Trump. One day he may have a thought that makes a bit of sense. But he will probably express it in such a terrible way as to probably distract from the point he is trying to make. Ah, what am I saying? The moment Donald Trump has anything reasonable to say will be the day Malta qualify for a World Cup. You don't even wish it to happen because you know what a ridiculous wish it is.
But back to the Germans and the things they should have kept to themselves. It is true that there are a few teams in European football for whom keeping the scoreline respectable is a victory. I can safely use Malta as an example. They played against England with no ambition of getting anything out of it other than a low number of goals conceded. And as a Maltese fan I am stuck in a conundrum: I loved the opportunity to see England and Italy and Germany play in Malta but I would also like to see them play competitive matches that they have a chance of winning. To make these big v small matches even more meaningless is that when it comes down to a tie-breaker for first or second place in the European qualifying groups, the matches against the bottom placed teams are discounted. So if Germany did somehow end up not winning their group comfortably Thomas Muller will be even more annoyed that that 8-0 plodding in the rain was a real waste of time.
So to Mr Gasperoni, San Marino's Director of communications. In response to Mueller's comments, he posted a list, on Facebook, of 10 reasons why it was good that San Marino played Germany. Here is the translated version. I particular love, "if we are so bad, why couldn't you score against us." And I showed cultural sensitivity by not laughing at the socks and sandals finish. My brief introduction wasn't so brief. So if you're still with me, here's Mr. Gasperoni and his example of how to excel in your communications job.
"Dearest Thomas Muller,
You're right. The games like that on a Friday night, they're nothing. To you. On the other hand, dear Thomas, you do not need to come to San Marino for almost nothing in a weekend in which, without the Bundesliga, you could have spent with your wife on the sofa of you luxury villa or, who knows, you could have taken part in some events organised by your sponsors to bank several thousand euros. I believe you, but allow me to give 10 good reasons for which I think the San Marino-Germany match was very useful and if only you could could think about it and let me know what you think:
It served to show you that not even against the teams as poor as ours you can't score a goal - and don't say you weren't pissed when Simoncini stopped you scoring...
It served to make it clear to your managers (and even at Beckenbauer and Rummenigge) that football is not owned by them but by of all those who love it, among which, like it or not, WE are included.
It served to remind hundreds of journalists from all over Europe that there are still guys who follow their dreams and not your rules.
It served to confirm that you Germans you will never change and that history has taught you that "bullying" is not always guarantee of victory.
It served to show the 200 guys in San Marino who play the game for whatever reason why their coaches ask them to always work their hardest. Who knows - maybe one day all their sacrifice will not be repaid with a game against the champions of the world.
It served to your Federation (and also to ours) to collect the money of image rights with which, in addition to paying you for your trouble, they can build pitches for the kids of your own country, schools, and make football stadiums safer... Our Federation, I'll let you in on a secret, is building a new football pitch in a remote village called Acquaviva. You could build it with six months of your salary, we'll do it with the rights of 90 minutes of game. Not bad right?
It served to a country as big as your pitch in Munich to go in the paper for a good reason, because a football match is always a good reason.
It served to your friend Gnabry to begin with, in the national team and scoring three goals.
It made some Sanmarinese people a little happy to remember that we have a real national team.
It's served to make me realise that even if you wear the most beautiful adidas kits, underneath you're always the ones that put white socks under their sandals.
With Love, your Alan."
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