Day -312 WorldCup2018
It started with a draw. Come May, I hope I'm not saying how did it come to this?
A 1-1 draw with Hull City (Tigers?). Aston Villa could have been 3-0 up in the first half. Could've. Could've doesn't win football matches.
For the first 15, 20 minutes Villa looked like they belonged at the top of the Premier League. But that was partly because Hull looked like they were a non-league team that had shown up at the wrong stadium and were somehow allowed to play. Within about 10 minutes I wondered how long before the online talk started about how long Hull's experiment with their new Russian coach, Leonid Slutsky, would last. A month? Two? Defenders didn't seem to know where they should be, and passes were played in attack into areas where a player was expected to be. So, I thought, either they don't understand Slutsky's instructions, or they can't be bothered with trying to understand, or Slutsky doesn't quite know what his plan is. Or his coaching staff told him that Gabby Agbonlahor was a really good player who should be taking Neymar's place at Barcelona. And the whole of the Hull team were paralyzed with fear at the sight of Villa's Messi.
And then the second half came about. And I though this Slutsky character must have given the best halftime pep talk ever. His team were buzzing all over the place. And Villa's players seemed to forget if they had a plan. That, or maybe the 9 players realized that their two forward men, Agbonlahor and Scott Hogan, really aren't that good. So there was no real incentive to pass the ball up ahead to them.
And I thought how long before the online talk starts about how much longer Villa's experiment with a good old, real football man Steve Bruce will last. Another month? Two?
Villa almost got their late winner but Andre Green, their highly rated young saviour, the player for the future, managed to get behind the Hull goalkeeper and got caught in two minds between whether he was defending or attempting to score. He combined an attempt at goal with a last-man, goal line clearance in one move. And then he had a look of embarrassment and bewilderment on his face at the same time. Yes, Andre, you really did just manage to do what you just did.
Leonid Slutsky. His is an interesting story. The short version. He decided he wanted to coach in England. Roman Abramovich is a big fan. He brought Slutsky to England, put him up, mentored him in the finer skills needed to deal with English club owners and encouraged him to learn English. And then the former CSKA Moscow and Russia manager got his dream job, with Hull. That's unfair, I know. Hull is probably his stepping stone to bigger things in England. And that's probably unfair again. I'm sure Hull is a wonderful football club with great ambition.
If you do ever watch Hull, I have to post a warning for anybody who feels very uneasy watching another human being and his nervous twitches. We got many shots of Slutsky on the Hull bench. Or in front of the bench. And it didn't take me long to wonder whether the cameraman and director were getting some sick pleasure out of making us the viewers watch Slutsky's routine over and over again: start at the centre of the dugout, 5 steps to the right, turn around, back to the centre, adjust/fidget with/grab belt buckle with two hands, 5 steps to the left, back to the centre, adjust/fidget with/grab belt buckle with two hands. Nervous? I was by the end of it. Worried that I was going to have to see the big Russian man grab his belt buckle yet again. Abramovich's house keepers are going to wonder why their boss's guest's white shirt in his laundry pile has a crease just where it would sit above his waist line, right above where his trousers button up. Yes, it was that visible.
And that was opening day of the English Championship for me. Surely, the Premier League next weekend can't be this intriguing.
It started with a draw. Come May, I hope I'm not saying how did it come to this?
A 1-1 draw with Hull City (Tigers?). Aston Villa could have been 3-0 up in the first half. Could've. Could've doesn't win football matches.
For the first 15, 20 minutes Villa looked like they belonged at the top of the Premier League. But that was partly because Hull looked like they were a non-league team that had shown up at the wrong stadium and were somehow allowed to play. Within about 10 minutes I wondered how long before the online talk started about how long Hull's experiment with their new Russian coach, Leonid Slutsky, would last. A month? Two? Defenders didn't seem to know where they should be, and passes were played in attack into areas where a player was expected to be. So, I thought, either they don't understand Slutsky's instructions, or they can't be bothered with trying to understand, or Slutsky doesn't quite know what his plan is. Or his coaching staff told him that Gabby Agbonlahor was a really good player who should be taking Neymar's place at Barcelona. And the whole of the Hull team were paralyzed with fear at the sight of Villa's Messi.
And then the second half came about. And I though this Slutsky character must have given the best halftime pep talk ever. His team were buzzing all over the place. And Villa's players seemed to forget if they had a plan. That, or maybe the 9 players realized that their two forward men, Agbonlahor and Scott Hogan, really aren't that good. So there was no real incentive to pass the ball up ahead to them.
And I thought how long before the online talk starts about how much longer Villa's experiment with a good old, real football man Steve Bruce will last. Another month? Two?
Villa almost got their late winner but Andre Green, their highly rated young saviour, the player for the future, managed to get behind the Hull goalkeeper and got caught in two minds between whether he was defending or attempting to score. He combined an attempt at goal with a last-man, goal line clearance in one move. And then he had a look of embarrassment and bewilderment on his face at the same time. Yes, Andre, you really did just manage to do what you just did.
Leonid Slutsky. His is an interesting story. The short version. He decided he wanted to coach in England. Roman Abramovich is a big fan. He brought Slutsky to England, put him up, mentored him in the finer skills needed to deal with English club owners and encouraged him to learn English. And then the former CSKA Moscow and Russia manager got his dream job, with Hull. That's unfair, I know. Hull is probably his stepping stone to bigger things in England. And that's probably unfair again. I'm sure Hull is a wonderful football club with great ambition.
If you do ever watch Hull, I have to post a warning for anybody who feels very uneasy watching another human being and his nervous twitches. We got many shots of Slutsky on the Hull bench. Or in front of the bench. And it didn't take me long to wonder whether the cameraman and director were getting some sick pleasure out of making us the viewers watch Slutsky's routine over and over again: start at the centre of the dugout, 5 steps to the right, turn around, back to the centre, adjust/fidget with/grab belt buckle with two hands, 5 steps to the left, back to the centre, adjust/fidget with/grab belt buckle with two hands. Nervous? I was by the end of it. Worried that I was going to have to see the big Russian man grab his belt buckle yet again. Abramovich's house keepers are going to wonder why their boss's guest's white shirt in his laundry pile has a crease just where it would sit above his waist line, right above where his trousers button up. Yes, it was that visible.
And that was opening day of the English Championship for me. Surely, the Premier League next weekend can't be this intriguing.
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