Malta-England: as "watched" on a US highway

Day -285 WorldCup2018

"Oh dear and we were doing so well."

"All in the last 5 minutes.... "

"As dad predicted...."

"It was all going so well...."

In the end it wasn't the BBC website or The Times of Malta that gave me the headline as to what happened to Malta today against England. As I drove to New York I had my phone on and listened to it ding and dong as message after message came through from my brothers and sisters as they watched on TV in England and Malta. They started about a half hour before kick-off but it was one ding that got my attention. I looked at the car clock as I sped down the highway and it was 2.47pm, 8.47pm in Malta. That's it, I thought. First goal. Definitely England. And then another ding, and another. More goals. No. A quick coffee break just before half time and it was still 0-0.

And then silence until about 4.25. But at 4.26: "Oh dear...." And by then I needed my back seat passenger to pull herself away from her music listening and read the messages for me. That message was followed by "how embarrassing". Now I knew it was all falling apart. And the "as Dad predicted" confirmed it. I'd seen an much earlier message that his prediction was a 4-0 win for England. They just did it though. "Plucky" Malta held out for the first half, conceded a Harry Kane goal in the 53rd minute but then fell apart in the last 6 minutes. A goal in the 85th plus two in injury time made it an "Oh dear" night for Malta and a "flattering win" for England (the BBC).

After all that excitement, and the late collapse, I tried to imagine being a Maltese player having to go home after that and get ready to get on a plane to play Scotland on Monday. They'd better have a good motivator on the coaching team.

I'm still waiting for a report from Casa Mifsud in Malta as to who, according to Dad, was more useless: Malta for giving up at the end, or England for almost not managing to win convincingly and only being able to do it when the Maltese players ran out of steam.

What I do know is that the Maltese commentator didn't pass the "uselessness" test as the match was watched in TV silence.

Here's to hoping that Malta draw England in the Euro 2020 qualifying so that "next time" is not too far away