When Aston Villa don't matter

Day -471. WorldCup2018

Aston Villa won today for the second time in 4 days. I'm not ecstatic about it. I wasn't cheering out my car window when my friend, who understands the pain of supporting a team that has fallen on hard times, sent me a message that Villa were 2-0 after I'd been driving for a while and unaware of the score. No. I just wanted to get this pretty insignificant bit of information out of the way. Who wants to hear about a second tier English team getting a little bit closer to the mid-table safety? There is only one reason for being in the Championship : to get promoted to the Premier League. Mid-table is about as worthless as third place at the World Cup.

It’s about as meaningless as winning the fifth Test in a cricket match when you've already lost the first four. And where, you may wonder, did I get that comparison from? Many years ago when I paid more attention to the sports pages than the pages of my school books, cricket was added to my list of interests. And at that time England were always losing to Australia. Always. At least that's what it felt like. And whenever it came to the fifth test of the five match series and Australia had one the last four, the English newspapers would go on about how it still mattered. If England did win it somehow became important that England had lost 4-1 and not 5-0. It's still Australia, they would say. We still beat the best team in the world. And they were definitely still trying to win. Here's what I used to think. Yes, the Australians would have liked the 5-0 but they probably could barely give a toss. They were probably sitting on deckchairs, drinking beers, watching England practice the day before the start of the last Test. And if they could lose in a three days and be done with it, they would probably be happy. Do I have any research to substantiate this theory? Absolutely not. But that was my perception. And that's exactly what I think of Aston Villa right now. Eighth or eighteenth, who cares?

The players will have absolutely nothing to play for in a couple of weeks. Summer couldn't come soon enough. In August they will start all over again and hope they are closer to the only meaningful outcome next April.

And that was the most time and emotional energy I have dedicated to Aston Villa in a long time. It's a bit odd going through a big part of a football season without really following a team when you've been doing it for so many years. Although it is quite relaxing watching as a neutral, where you can enjoy the football and not worry about the result. Which reminds me, the Confederation Cup is coming up this summer.

Leicester post-Ranieri: not bad

Day -472. WorldCup2018

Leicester City started life without Claudio Ranieri with a 3-1 win against Liverpool and a performance worthy of the Champions of England. In other words they played like they did last year. Jamie Vardy was back to having a party and Danny Drinkwater showed the kind of skill in scoring his goal that earned him an almost call up for England's Euro 2016 team.

And the obvious reaction from the Ranieri sympathisers was that this was proof that the players wanted Ranieri out. All weekend they said, "let's see what happens on Monday. If they play well then we know it was their fault Ranieri was sacked." And, voila, today's events played out just right for them.

My theory? Leicester could have won today, without any manager or anybody coaching them. The stand in guy, at most, might have picked who was playing. Or maybe he didn't even do that. The players have been tweeting and Instagram-ing all weekend about how angry they are at the suggestion that there was a player revolt. They were so worked up about the whole thing that they went today, determined to show the world that they can play, with or without Ranieri. Of course, it was Ranieri who coached them to play the way they played today. And by him leaving their true from came to the fore again. So by getting sacked Ranieri gave them his last bit of inspiration, to punch above their weight. It was down to Ranieri again.

It's the Oscars! And there's footballers in there too

Day -473. WorldCup2018

Oscar night. Not the former Chelsea player who went off to China to earn a comfortable retirement (don't blow all that money Oscar) but the Academy Awards. I always enjoy it because it makes me think about the similarities between football players and actors. I know what you're thinking, you non-football fans. Footballers and actors are two words that are in the same sentence very often. But hold your horses. I'm not that predictable.

I am not a fan of the Oscars, by no means a movie buff. I enjoy a good film but wouldn't recognise a celebrity if I bumped into him or her on the street right after I walked out a cinema having watched a film they were in. I also don't really like the term "celebrity". I did walk right past the guy from Four Weddings and a Funeral, the guy who made the moving speech, he read the poem, at the funeral, in a shop in Toronto a number of years ago. I thought he was just another bored guy pretending to be looking for clothes for himself while his wife, or partner, shopped (maybe he really was) until my wife pointed out that the dude going through the sale rack with us was that guy from the funeral. Oh, okay, he looks different in real life. So do we say hello to him?

Even though tonight does not mean much to me I will not begrudge the fun others may get out of it, or judge them for swooning over who I think are professionals who get paid a sickeningly obscene amount of money for what they do. Still talking about actors, not footballers. You see the similarities building. I have voiced my opinion many times about how footballers get paid too much and are getting very spoilt and comfortable, living in an unrealistic world.

I realise, with both the actors and the footballers, it's not them I should be angry at. Sure, one or two of them could say we make way too much money and are going to give most of it away because we do what we do for the love of it. But the reality is that they are in a market which pays that much. There is demand for actors to be in big movies in cinemas and for footballers to play for teams who's fans want them to win domestic leagues and Champions Leagues and who want to see them do all this on television all the time, weekend and mid-week.

The other part of my misdirected disdain for the two categories is the supporting casts (seriously an unintended pun and I can't think of another term). I mean the media who play up the adulation we should offer these stars, the writers, agents, producers, team owners who put these people on a pedestal and these now so-called celebrities are made to feel they have to play the part. I guess I don't like the establishment that has created this somewhat false world that these individuals are now a part of. (I try to avoid using words that are the current fashion, like "establishment" but that's what it is.)

Despite what might seem like my apathy towards footballers and actors I admit that I am not completely apathetic to films and professional football. I will not line up for an autograph. I will not wait out in the cold outside a stadium entrance to catch a glimpse of my favourite player and hope he shakes my hand. But I will watch Hollywood films and the English Premier League and Champions League. I'm probably just too lazy and maybe unmotivated to search for independent low budget films. I'll watch what's easy to access. But I will thoroughly enjoy watching amateur football which is harder and harder to find. That's why I have so many happy memories of sitting in an empty stadium watching football in Malta. My romantic concept that the players were not doing it for money has unravelled in recent years with all the accusations of bribery, but if I could ignore then I can liken it to the experience of fans of non-league teams in other countries. There were no stars, egos didn't get you very far and the fans just wanted good, honest football. (Oh dear, again I leave myself open to much ridicule when it comes to me talking about Maltese football).

I do, however, still enjoy the highest level of professional football, such as the World Cup, because as a lover of the game I appreciate the opportunity to see the best players in the world compete against each other. I can ignore a lot about the individual and the establishment for the ninety minutes. I just can't ignore the acting.

So I've come full circle to the acting footballers. I devoted a rant to Zlatan Ibrahimovich and his cheating/acting skills last week. He's involved again today. I watched some of the League Cup final with an NBA basketball loving friend. He asked why he had heard of Ibrahimovich and I replied that it was probably because he likes to be in the news, very often because he loves being the centre of attention and because of his questionable sportsmanship attributes. We got onto the discussion of "diving" and he repeated what I hear very often that North Americans are turned off of football because of the diving. Now, let's not get back into criticising all the things we Europeans see as being wrong with North American sports. The closeness to the world of showbiz and celebrity status might be on of them.

My friend reminded me of the NBA "anti-flopping" rule. The NBA introduced the rule in the 2012-13 season because of the increase in the number of players who were "flopping": "A flop is an intentional fall by a player after little or no physical contact by an opposing player in order to draw a personal foul call by an official against the opponent." (NBA)

The players are penalised by the league after reviewing video of the incident. A warning for a first offence is followed by fines starting at $5,000 for a second offence, up to $30,000 and a suspension. Now just imagine that in football: Ronaldo, Ibrahimovich and a lot of German players, watch out! Now I should watch out for making that stereotypical comment.

Footballers and actors. There's not much difference very often. But I've written this right through a huge part of the Oscars and have no idea who won what. It wouldn't happen if Oxford against Rochdale was on TV.

Down the Hamburger(s)!

Day -474. WorldCup2018

Aston Villa won a football match today for the first time in 2017. What's that I hear? Right. Silence. Who really cares about a team in the bottom half of England's second division.

Bayern Munich beat Hamburger SV 8-0 today. That's Eight-Zero. Incredible. That never happens, I hear. In February 2015 Bayern Munich beat Hamburger SV 8-0. In March 2013 Bayern Munich beat, yes, poor old Hamburger 9-2. Habit rather than unusual.

That's it for today. Underwhelming, you say, after my essay yesterday. Drained, I reply, after yesterday.

Ranieri, and Gent, and Genk

Day -475. WorldCup2018

Most days I write this late at night, the last thing I do everyday. It really is the last thing. Reading it again would be a good epilogue to my post but I don't even do that. So then I may return to it the next day, or when I'm updating my blog which I keep updated for the day I get discovered, and I think, "on no, did I really write that?" I cringe at grammatical mistakes in others and am ashamed when I do it. Auto correct takes care of most spelling mistakes but it sometimes picks words which I did not intend to write, but I miss the change. I realised just today that a couple of days ago I wrote about Aston Villa's reparation when I meant to say relegation. It explained why somebody who has never liked my posts before liked that one. He/she (I will not give him/her away) must have appreciated my sentiments that Aston Villa needed to make amends to some particular group for injustices caused by the football club. I'm sorry. I was not being political or philosophical, only bemoaning the fact that Aston Villa may be facing the humiliation of further relegation. The owners of the club, previous one included, may have to make some reparations to the fans for all the suffering they have endured over the last few years.

Many days I write this as an easy escape or distraction from the crazy news from the real world: wars, bombings, refugees, insane Presidents of world superpowers and such. Things that I wish didn't happen, that I could do something about, but can't so I write about football.

Other days I superimpose my emotional reaction to something that happened in the football world onto my emotional reaction to a personal event. So that retirement of a player or sacking of a manager becomes a bigger event in my head than if I was in the different frame of mind. Today it's Claudio Ranieri.

Now to be fair to myself I don't think I was the only one who was saddened a little bit more about this than I should have been about a football manager losing his job. BBC online runs a daily sports news update page. It was dominated today by reactions to Ranieri's sacking. At regular intervals the journalist running the page had to clarify that nobody had died, it was just a sacking, such was the outpouring of grief from people writing in.

Apart from the perceived unfairness at the decision after Ranieri's fairytale with Leicester last year, wasn't part of the sadness because it seemed like somebody who could be your wonderful father had come to the end of the road? There was sadness for the man, that a person who led a group of footballers to their dreams was being discarded for being not up to it anymore. After reading all the tributes today (again nobody died!) I suddenly got the urge to contact Ranieri. I've always wanted to talk to somebody of some importance who can add some legitimacy to my daily ramblings. And I thought Ranieri would be a fantastic start. It would also be an amazing conversation. I imagined myself on the phone with him, talking to him about football just like I do with my dad. So I was searching online for "Ranieri contact" and "Ranieri email". No luck. There are a couple of twitter accounts and a lot of Facebook pages with his name but are not really him. I hear he left for Rome right after losing his job. So if anybody knows where to track him down.....

The last word about Ranieri is the first sentence of his statement today. It says it all about how upset he must be and why so many of us feel sad about what happened: "Yesterday my dream died."
My day did start with a bit of humour, for myself. The draw for the last 16 of the Europa League took place today. BBC took some time out of the Ranieri obituaries to report on the draw. I looked through it and had varied thoughts.

Celta Vigo vs. FC Krasnodar: they're still in it? Last July, yes July, Krasnodar stood in the way of Malta's Birkirkara and the group stages. Birkirkara had made it to the third qualifying round after an historical win against Hearts. They were dreaming o further greatness but the Russians swept them aside and here they are many months later amongst the last 16.

Then, a match-up I don't care much about followed by Schalke vs Borussia Monchengladbach. An all German affair. That will be fun, for the fans of those two teams.

Next was Lyon vs Roma. Now that will be good and these teams might even start caring about the competition for losers and put on a good show.

Then it's Manchester United against FC Rostov. Stories of long trips to Russia abounded. I'm not interested, yet.

Olympiakos vs Besiktas. The Greeks against the Turks. Those jokes about the London police being concerned about Tottenham playing Millwall in the FA Cup seem like just that now, jokes, compared to what the armed police must be fearing in Greece and Turkey.

And then there it was: Gent, of Belgium, drawn to play Genk, of Belgium. So they are two different teams! When Tottenham played Gent in the last round I thought again what I had believed in my head to be true for many years: that they were the same team but there were different spellings depending on whether they were being talked about in English, Walloon or Flemish, Dutch or French. A bit like Basel, Basle or Bale (with the accent on the "a"). Belgians, and people living in Belgium, please excuse my ignorance. At least after this round there will only be on on them left.

And the last tie is Copenhagen vs Ajax. It could be a good one between two teams who always think they should be doing a lot better than they actually are. But after the Belgian teams who are not one and the same, I didn't care anymore.

After the length of this it is definitely the last thing I am doing tonight.

Claudo Ranieri,the end. Sunshine on Leith

Day -476. WorldCup2018

So much for that Jamie Vardy goal being the moment that Leicester's season turned around. It was, I guess, but not in the way that most of us would have guessed. Claudio Ranieri, the man who made Leicester fans dream is gone. Sacked, because the team owners have more fear about losing out on Premier League money than they have happy memories of the most unexpected Premier League win ever, and the Champions League money that brought. Dilly Dong to those ding-dongs.

Is that what you think, Aidan? That he shouldn't have been fired, I know you will ask. In a world full of the romance of sport (and what was more magical than what happened last season) he should have been allowed to at least save Leicester this season. The season after was always going to be hard. I thought they would finish in the bottom half. But that’s when I feel the journey should have ended, at the end of this season. Even if they got relegated that should have been the natural conclusion to the Rainieri story. For what he did, for how he inspired the players, fans and city of Leicester he should have been left to play it out until there was an end. It's like the film where you expect there to be a happy, sappy ending but are relieved when it is quite the opposite. The hero drifts off, not quite the hero at that moment, but he does have the memories which will never be taken away.

But football is business and not a romantic one, or with any room for romance. And if a manager seems to have lost the support of his players, if the players don't respond to his coaching anymore and the team is sliding towards inevitable relegation, it is wholly unsurprising that the owners want to protect their investment, the team. Will anybody save Leicester now? Will there be a negative reaction from neutral fans who will want to see them relegated, out of sympathy for Ranieri. As for the man himself, how can you not feel sad for how his story has ended? At his age it is unlikely there will be another chapter. But he will always be the manager of Leicester, Champions of England, 2015-16.

I was watching football today, sort of. Fiorentina-Borussia Mochengladbach in the Europa League was on tv. When Fiorentina were 1-0 up, I mentally tuned out and carried on with my job as assistant school project maker. Then it was 2-0 (3-0 on aggregate) and I really thought it was over. I kept it on. 2-1 at halftime. I walked away for what seemed like 30 seconds and when I looked again it was 3-2 to Borussia. A minute later it was 4-2. What a comeback. Of course now that I was watching I hoped that I would see a Fiorentina comeback to out-do the Borussia comeback. But, no. Nothing much happened. An exciting Europa League match between two teams I would rarely watch, it's on tv right in front of me, and I didn't watch it. But it's been that kind of week. I didn't see any of the Manchester City-Monaco 5-3, the best Champions League match for a long time.

I came across this today and it was a good consolation. There are few things better than a stadium full of football fans singing in unison to make me feel good. I have little interest in Hibernian, have no attachment to any rivalry in Scotland. But regardless of who they just beat, this alone is pretty magical.

More piegate and Leicester's turnaround

Day -477. WorldCup2018

It seems nobody liked my #piegate humour yesterday. Really, not one like. But that's ok. As I do very often it's about entertaining myself. I'm ok. Really. No sympathy likes please.

Wayne Shaw and #piegate were still in the news today. I read two stories quickly: one said he only ate the pie to wind up the Arsenal supporters who were singing the standard, "who ate all the pies?" line; the other one, more of an opinion, was about how he would have been better off snorting cocaine on the bench. At least four players have been suspended for using recreational drugs, and they still have their jobs.

As a footnote to yesterday's claims of what it was that Shaw ate, he confirmed that it was indeed a cornish pasty. And it gave him indigestion.

In other news today there seemed to be much celebration, from what I read online, after Jamie Vardy woke up from a 10 month hibernation and scored a goal. And his team Leicester were fantastic in their Champions League match against Sevilla. They only lost 2-1. They lost, and I read comments about how this could be what turns their season around. Because they scored an away goal. Such is the ridiculousness of football, sometimes, and the media that writes about it. I'll say again I am not a betting man and make useless predictions but I will be chuckling to myself when Sevilla come to Leicester in a couple of weeks and leave with a comfortable win. And then Leicester's season will have taken another turn to be analyzed.

How Jamie Vardy must be wishing he had taken Arsenal's money when they offered it to him. He could have been sitting on the bench watching Bayern Munich destroy his teammates one week, and been close to a pie-eating reserve goalkeeper the next. But he wouldn't be in a relegation battle.

Piegate

Day -478. WorldCup2018

Another incident that I'll be happy I recorded when I look back in 478 days: the day a 46 year old reserve goalkeeper for Sutton United, in a questionable state of match fitness, ate a pie while sitting on the bench as his teammates battled against the mighty Arsenal. It was a stunt for a betting company, was Wayne Shaw in on it, was there illegal betting activity? The whole of England wanted answers. #Piegate was born. By the end of the day Shaw had resigned but not before bringing shame to his team's much admired FA Cup run.

And then the real questions started. Was it really a pie, or was it a pasty? There did seem to be a lot of pastry. Was it a steak pie, or steak and kidney? There were questions on social media as to why Shaw did not squirt brown sauce on top of his pie and whether he paid for the pie? Did he line up with the fans at halftime to buy the pie or did he give a ball boy a fiver and ask him to go get it for him? There were rumours of a very upset fan who had missed his dinner to get to the match after rushing home from work and was looking forward to a pie, but just missed buying the last one and was irate to see that last pie being passed to Mr Shaw. And is it true that Shaw resigned after being offered a position as a pie taster with a well known pie company in Bradford?

We may never know all the answers. Will Shaw speak? Will #piegate go away or will it be turn into something bigger: #fishandchipswithmushypeasgate?

No slip up at Sutton

Day -479 WorldCup2018

It was a holiday for us today, the government of Ontario deciding a few years ago that we need a mid-winter long weekend. And, voila, Family Day was born.

A good holiday Monday needs a good sleep in with no worry of getting up for work or readying kids for school. But if you can't sleep much past sunrise because your head is pounding and your throat crying out for liquids after a late night out, the perfect antidote is early morning football on TV in a quiet house. With the perfect timing of English football for Toronto on most Saturday mornings this would be a good possibility. But sadly not today. An FA Cup match in the middle of a workday to satisfy the early (hungover) risers in Canada would probably not be too popular in England.

So it became a lazy afternoon, 3pm start for Sutton United against Arsenal. After all the excitement over the weekend which I missed, I was determined to not miss this mother of all FA Cup shocks. I had memories of a Saturday afternoon many years ago, watching Wrexham of the old fourth division beating Arsenal and how surreal it was. Even though I saw Wrexham score two goals in the last 10 minutes to come back an win 2-1, I didn't believe it was actually happening, that it was even possible. Now, today, I wanted to see it happen again. Selfishly, I wanted to see my Lincoln moment.

Wish as much as I did, it was not going to happen. Arsenal did not look very good but Sutton were struggling to get out of there half and I just had that feeling that nothing special was going to happen. If I was sitting in a more comfortable chair I probably would have caught up on some much-needed sleep.

Arsenal scored a couple of goals, Sutton hit the crossbar and should have scored off a free header ("he's got to hit the target with that. He'll be disappointed") and in the end a plucky 2-0 defeat was the end of the lowest ranked team left in this year's cup.

(At the same time Aston Villa were losing 2-0 to Newcastle and I barely cared. There’s hardly any emotion left in that relationship, apart from anger as Villa sit 6 points off a relegation spot.)

FA Cup needs Sutton and Lincoln

Day -480. WorldCup2018

Today in the FA Cup Tottenham beat Fulham 3-0 and Manchester United beat Blackburn 2-1. And, what? Nothing. Boring, right? That's why Lincoln's win yesterday was so magical. We need more of that in football, the unexpected. Last year it was Leicester. And this season it's a team that finished middle of the table in the Premier League last year playing perfect football and firmly on course to be Champions of England. Chelsea may not be doing a Leicester but with pretty much the same team as last year they are looking un-catchable.

Because of the possibilities of surprises, of the underdogs having a chance to shine I am a supporter of the 48 team World Cup in 2026.

Tomorrow (today now) Sutton United, the part-timers play Arsenal in the final match of the last sixteen of the FA Cup. The winners play Lincoln in the quarterfinals. As a Lincoln fan who would you want: the glamour match against the Premier League big boys or the easier match against a team lower than you in the unknown world of non-league football and a good chance to get to the semifinals? You have nothing to lose against Arsenal and are expected to win against Sutton. Tough choice.

Before tomorrow even happens though, the fact that Sutton have the opportunity to play Arsenal is pretty special. Sutton have an average home crowd of 1500 this season. They are small, very small. The average attendance at Arsenal's Emirates stadium is close to 60,000. I don't even need to do my Toronto FC vs Toronto Croatia comparison that I did yesterday. The hope for the neutral viewer is that Arsenal are still in a sulk after last week's hiding from Bayern Munich. If they are angry, Sutton had better watch out.

Simple: Lincoln!

Day -481. WorldCup2018

There may be politics, there may be divers and cheaters, play-actors and accusations of money greedy footballers but then you get a moment like today and, unless you support Burnley, you can enjoy the simple, happy side of football: 11 players facing another 11 players and the 11 who have absolutely no right to win, do.

Fans of Lincoln City, I salute you and envy you. I couldn't watch but a last minute winner for you, the non-league team at the home of your Premier League opponents. What can beat that for pure exhilaration?

What a day. We hear the cliche "magic of the FA Cup" but it almost sounds like a desperate attempt to maintain some interest in a competition that most teams, and fans, seem to care less and less about. But today was magical, not only for Lincoln but also for Millwall and their last minute win against Leicester, the Champions of England.

To put this in the context of North American sport what happened today was comparable to Toronto FC losing against Toronto Croatia, of the Canadian Soccer League. Or the Toronto Maple Leafs losing against a semi-professional team of players who would only dream of playing in the NHL.

The magic not only of the FA Cup, but also of sport. What happens on the pitch when two opponents face each other is all that matters, and anything can always happen. And to quote this video, "Football is awesome."

Nothing much to see here.

Day -482. WorldCup2018

Zlatan Ibrahimovich is yesterday's news but I can't bring you a happier story today because Internet is limited and the end of day energy levels are low. But if you do want something happy just do a Google search for Eder, Falcao or Zico, World Cup 1982.

Football needs less Ibrahimovich's

Day -483 WorldCup2018

After my many days after celebrating the happiness that special World Cup moments bring, I could easily have my tweet from earlier today as my post:

"What a cheat #Ibra is. Or at least terrible sportsmanship. It's because of players like him that non-fans make fun of football."

And that could be it because that's how angry I was watching Manchester United play in the Europa League today. But to explain a bit further, over the years I've had to withstand many a criticism from North American sports fans about how ridiculous soccer players are, for all their play-acting. I never really did have a strong counter argument because they were all mostly right. "He went down like he was shot," was the mocking line I always heard.

Today Zlatan Ibrahimovich did just that and won himself a free kick and a penalty. Went down like he was shot, when he wasn't touched and fooled the gullible referee, twice. If I had a child who played football I would refuse to let them watch Ibrahimovich play, just like parents don't let their children watch certain programmes on TV or listen to particular music. Ibrahimovich is the epitome of bad sportsmanship. His behaviour today was a disgrace to the goodness that sport can deliver to fans, players and young viewers. And i still believe in the honesty of sport despite all the questionable stories of bribes, drugs use and cheating. It is a good distraction from the immorality of politics and greed in the corporate world.

My girls don't play football but they play a lot of other sports and people like Ibrahimovich will never be a role model. There are a lot of good people out there.

My most memorable shocking World Cup cheating moment is not Maradona's "Hand of God" goal but Rivaldo's "down like he was shot in the face" act in the 2002 World Cup that got his Turkish opponent sent off, when really he had a ball kicked gently against his shins. It is because of incidents like this that North Americans, and others, make fun of football and will never bother with it.

It's not that I only care what the non-fans say. I am embarrassed watching something like what Ibrahimovich did today because it completely spoils my enjoyment of watching football. I hope that Ibrahimovich feels so ashamed that he donates the match ball (that he got to keep for scoring a hat-trick) to a children's charity that can use it as a prize in a fundraising lottery.

Tomorrow, I will find something happy again.

Maradona in the news, Arsenal not

Day -484. WorldCup2018

Bayern Munich beat Arsenal up today, toyed with them, let them think they were at par with them up until half-time and then pummeled them in the second half. But Bayern's 5-1 win is not really news. They won by the same score last year and as one of the commentators said today "Arsenal always play the Arsenal way. There is no other way." So if that same Arsenal lost 5-1 last year there was little hope they would do anything different today.

For some more fun new news, Fifa's new special ambassador Diego Maradona was involved in an "altercation" at a Madrid hotel today. I made up his Fifa title because I haven't seen anywhere what his actual role with Fifa is going to be, only that he has "a major role" to help Fifa "promote the game across the globe." He did some not so good self-promotion today when the police were called to the hotel after an alleged argument with his girlfriend, maybe? Nobody knows. A "yell" was heard. Both Maradona and his girlfriend denied anything happened. His lawyer blamed the media for making up a story because "Maradona doesn't have a private life." Yesterday, Maradona was filmed threatening to fight a reporter who claimed that Maradona had struck him as they walked past each other.

"Know that if I fight you one-on-one, I'll destroy you," was Maradona's polite warning to the reporter.

What is that psychological phenomenon where you still admire an individual who has proved to be, and excuse the non-technical term, an asshole to everybody and an all round generally not very nice person? I suffer from that condition when it comes to Maradona. The drugs, the links and parties with the criminal underworld in Naples. He's still a legend for what he did on the football pitch and I doubt anybody will ever match him in my lifetime. And if he had the character of his equal in another sport, Roger Federer, well, that would have been just too boring.

P.S.G! Wow.

Day -485. WorldCup2018

I've been on a World Cup happy moments mission. Today I'm taking a break from that to mark this day: a happy day for fans of Paris St. Germain, a day they will not forget, the day they beat the mighty Barcelona 4-0 in the first leg of the Champions League last 16.

Sometimes I get lost in my own words and thoughts. Simple: PSG beat Barca 4-0. Four. Nil. That's what I'll see when I look back at this one day. Whenever do Barcelona lose 4-0? It seems unusual, like it would have only happened many, many years ago when Barcelona were not what they are today, pre-Pep Guardiola or Frank Riijkard days. But it was only in 2013 that they were beaten 4-0 by Bayern Munich and 7-0 on aggregate.

Can Barcelona do the almost unthinkable in 2 weeks time, score 5 and win this tie? If it was any other team you would think not, but with Messi, Suarez and Neymar you would understand why the PSG fans might not be celebrating the great victory yet. But, my oh my, it must have been a night to remember in Paris today.

More euphoria: Tardelli

Day -486. WorldCup2018

As I carry on with my World Cup happy moments I have to go beyond just acknowledging the Marco Tardelli celebration as one of many examples of unforgettable memories. It is it's own moment. And Tardelli explains so well how the "madness" at scoring that goal took over. He calls it the "pinnacle of joy" and nothing compares to that "one moment in life, in sport."

We can't all experience the feeling of scoring in a World Cup final, but we can all enjoy watching what it does for the scorer.

More joy: Northern Ireland

Day -487. WorldCup2018

For the last three days it's been great goals that I have been celebrating, goals that brought me happiness. And ecstasy for the commentators.

Today it's the fans. When there's a multitude of issues going on in your life or across the world what better antidote is there than losing yourself in the celebration of your team's win, or a goal, with thousands of other people that you don't know.

These are Northern Ireland fans in Belfast during last summer's Euros. Yes, there may be beer involved which may have helped turn the joy into the unconfined variety, but there is lots of it. And everybody needs to sing and dance like this at some point.

(Neil Diamond is probably very happy to know that his music can do this to people, but probably surprised that they're football supporters.)

Letchov happiness

Day -488. WorldCup2018

Day three in my "Word Cup goals make people happy" prescription for happiness.

I love Iordan Letchov's goal, the winner for Bulgaria against Germany. There is something athletically unique about a flying header. But more than the technique it was that it was such a huge surprise that Bulgaria had taken the lead against Germany with eleven minutes to go in the 1994 quarter-final.

I watched this match with not much expectation of anything other than a routine German win. Bulgaria had never won a World Cup match, in their previous five appearances. They started this one with a 3-0 defeat to Nigeria. They then beat Greece 4-0 and Argentina, in post Diego Maradona crisis, 2-0. They came through a bore-fest, penalty shoot-out win against Mexico to face Germany in what was widely expected to be the end of their fun.

I seem to remember it was a Sunday, a hot summer evening. And after a day at the beach it was the perfect lazy end to the day, and it got even better. When Germany scored early in the second half it was easy to lose interest. But, oh, what a turnaround from the Bulgarians.

And as I was by the Dutch and Argentinian commentators from the last two days I cannot not be sucked into the ecstasy of the Bulgarian commentators. They are doing their job, but they are also fans and to see Letchkov score that phenomenal goal to put them in the lead against the World Champions, well.....how could it not make you happy?

Happiness is Maxi Gonzalez

Day -489. WorldCup2018

As a continuation of yesterday's thought here is another magical World Cup moment: an absolute beauty of a goal and the winner in extra time.

And like yesterday it's the wonderful skill at such a crucial moment and also the incredible happiness that goal brought. Those commentators are ecstatic. Listen, enjoy and be happy.

Happiness is Dennis Bergkamp

Day -490. WorldCup2018

Everybody has their escape, be it a physical place to go to or a mental state to distract from the goings on in his of her immediate surroundings. The need for an emotional change of pace happens often. My thing, if not obvious after 500 days, is a special moment on a football pitch.

Sometimes it's the sound of a football stadium singing together to celebrate or remember. Or it could be a moment of sportsmanship in a sport derided for its proliferation of greedy, selfish players. And at other times It's a demonstration of how a goal, the essence of football, can make so many people so incredibly happy. Add an incredible bit of skill and there is even more exuberance for having watched a player perform to the best of his her abilities on a big stage.

I remember, and never tire of watching, Tardelli's 1982 celebration, or Schillaci's passionate reaction to every goal he scored in 1990, or the Cameroon players skipping and dancing after scoring against Argentina in 1990, or the Bulgarians' incredible joy at beating Germany in 1994.

And I have watched some incredible goals since 1982. The particular one that came to mind today, as I searched for a happy moment, was Dennis Bergkamp's last minute winner against Argentina. To score a scrappy winner in the last minute is big. It's huge. Who cares how it went in? But to have the calmness to execute a bit of skill like this in the last minute of a 1-1 round of sixteen match takes a unique talent. Cue the incredible bedlam amongst the Dutch supporters.

And there is one more part to this goal. Listen to the Dutch commentator. How can you not feel his joy with him, even 18 years later. Happiness, pure happiness. It would be my prescription to cure many an ailment, more than any drug.

Super Bowl: Part 2

Day -491 WorldCup2018

I need some good senseless nonsense today so I'll try and make it up for my own entertainment. And maybe somebody will think it's funny. Or nonsensical. And then I'll be happy.

Yesterday I was thinking about the "best ever" Super Bowl as I was driving to work and I resolved to come back to it today with a fresher mind, albeit one more day removed from the "greatest ever comeback at a Super Bowl."

My mental search for a reason to talk about the Super Bowl was to use it as a starting point for the greatest World Cup comeback ever. The attempt at recollection ended quickly as I thought about the "most electrifying" Super Bowl ever and how I didn't actually see the electrifying part. (I'm just making up quotes now; I don't remember reading "electrifying" anywhere.) So was there an amazing World Cup match that I turned off before the exciting end? Short answer: no. I would never turn off a World Cup match.

What also took over in my memories of Sunday night and World Cup classics was the comical scene playing out in front of our TV. It was very much like what I would imagine the parallel scenario would be if my baseball-, football- (NFL), basketball-loving, American former boss was trying to explain the offside rule to his family after hearing it from his crazy, football-loving (soccer) employee the one time.

As we are not much of an NFL supporting family our only interest was in how ridiculous or entertaining the half-time show might be. As a self-confessed sports fanatic I do feel a bit of guilt admitting I do not follow one of the most watched sport events in the world. But I have explained why many times in the past. It's not the time to explain reasons now. After Lady Gaga had done her thing, complete with jumping off the stage ("did she just jump?") we decided to keep it on. One daughter repeated a number of times, "I don't even know what happens in this game. What's the point?" My other girl was thinking more along the lines of: "if I watch this with Daddy, does that mean I get to stay up later?" I must point out here, proudly, that both my girls are up for trying every sport at school and will watch a lot of them on TV with me.

So I had to assume the role of the knowing Dad, explaining the "plays". I got the lingo going right away. There are no "plays" in soccer football unless you are my former American boss, or Canadian and American commentators, or most of the people I now work with and talk to everyday, or the sports guy on the radio.

"So what happens, what's the point, how do they score?"

"They have to get the ball over that line at the end."

"Oh yes, I think I've seen them throw it and the guy has to catch it behind that line"

"Yes, sure, they do that".

"But what's happening. What's that 1st and 10 and now 2nd and 5?"

"Yes...yes...there are downs...."

"Downs? Huh? H.U.H? Huh? Downs?"

"Yes, they have to move the ball forward 10 yards each down."

"Yards...?"

"Yes, don't worry about it. Like metres."

"And then what?"

"Well...erm...er....Oh see! They start another 10 yards, another down".

"But is that number how many yards they have covered, or how many to go?"

"It's, you know.....hold on, let's listen to the commentator."

"And why have they stopped now?"

"Well, because the coach needs to draw some more diagrams. And the TV company needs to make some more money from commercials."

"Ok so the white team is going forward. What happens if they don't cover the 10 yards?"

"I think the other team gets the ball."

"Why does the red team have the ball and why did they just kick it?"

"Because the white team didn't do their down thingy and so the red team got it."

"But they kicked it right back to the white team."

"Yes, yes.....yes....(help, somebody). Oh look it's Marc Wahlberg, the actor."

"Now, it's 1st and goal."

"Well, yeah....because if they, you know, do the....they scored!...a goal!"

"A touchdown."

"So that's why it was 1st and goal. See? Just like I said."

"How many points do they get for that?"

"Look at the scoreboard. It's your math test. And now they kick it and get another point"

"They're not kicking it. They're doing a play again."

"Yes, of course, the 2 point conversion." (thank you commentator who only I seemed to hear).

"So is the white team going to win now?"

"No! Ha ha! They can't win. There's only a few minutes left and no team has ever won when losing by so many points. Ok, bed time. Up we go!"

And there ended the family viewing. Teeth brushed, hugs hugged, good-night's said and back I came to my daily post with the TV turned back to the Modern Family marathon for those who don't watch Super Bowl. As I searched for inspiration, for my post, I came across an update: "Super Bowl goes into overtime for the first time ever." Ah, it could be exciting. Back to my post. After that was done I thought I'd better check again so I could make conversation at work on Monday. "Patriots win Super Bowl after most incredible comeback ever."

Ah, well. At least I watched live as Liverpool beat Milan in the Champions League final in 2005 after being down 3-0 at half-time. Well, not quite, but kind of...? A story for another day. And on another day I will remember the greatest "back from the dead" win in a World Cup. But not today.

Back to that offside rule...

"So where's the offside line?"

"There is no line per se...it's a moving line, where the last defender is"

"But in hockey we have a blue line Why isn't there a line?."

"Because it depends where the last defender is. He moves."

"Ok. So that's offside, he was way behind the defender."

"No, because it depends where the attacker was when the ball was played,'

"But now he is definitely offside."

"No, because he started his run in his own half."

"Now. Surely."

"Er, no, because it came off the defender last."

"Really, you guys need a blue line. He scored! But that other guy is way offside....no?"

"No, because the ref decided he wasn't interfering with play (play as a verb, not a noun!)."

"Wasn't interfering?? So what's he doing there? Out for a jog in front of the other team's goalie while a football match is going on?"

"It's really not that complicated."


(Grunt)

Super Bowl: Part 1

Day -492. WorldCup2018

I was reflecting on the Super Bowl today. You know the one that just happened a couple of days ago: "the best ever", "the most incredible comeback ever", "first Super Bowl to go to overtime". And I had a great story in my head as I tried to think of a World Cup match I could compare it to. But today has almost become tomorrow and for the the first time ever I'm going to say: to be continued. Come back tomorrow.

Time. Need time.

Day -493 WorldCup2018

I'm sorry. I know there's many of you out there waiting for my wonderful words, as you do every evening. The day job got in the way. If only this was the day job.

Oh, Jesus.

Day -494. WorldCup2018

Jesus saves! Garbriel Jesus scored twice today for his new team, Manchester City, the second a last minute winner, to save them from another embarrassing result. I only put this in because I had to take advantage of maybe the one opportunity to use that opening line in 1000 days. And expect many more bad Jesus jokes in the weeks to come, hopefully not from me.

Lazio tried their best to emulate Napoli's 7-1 away win yesterday. They went to Pescara and won 6-2. Marco Parolo had scored one goal this season. Today he scored 4. What's happened to the Serie of 1-0 wins? Late result: Juventus beat Inter 1-0 to continue their stroll to the league title yet again.

If Juventus are strolling and Chelsea cantering to the Premier League title, than Celtic are walking with beach towels in hand, stopping at every beach they pass for a swim and a drink on their way to the most boringly predictable league win ever. They are twenty-seven points ahead of second placed Aberdeen and Rangers. 27. They have player 24, won 23, drawn 1. Ross Barkley scored a goal for Everton yesterday and celebrated before he had actually scored. Celtic could start a victory parade this weekend and keep it going until May and nobody could accuse them of being presumptive.

And Cameroon are African champions. This is why I never bet on anything or rarely make predictions. My forecast was a boring 0-0 draw, won by Egypt after penalties with their 44 year old goalkeeper, El Hadary, saving the last penalty. In what was a pretty lively final, El Hadary's role was watching a sublime bit of skill from Vincent Aboubakar to score the winning goal in a 2-1 win. A goal deserving to be the winner in a major final, so the cliche goes, but oh so true in this case.

Cameroon had a few distractions before the start of the tournament with a couple of players refusing to join the team and unhappiness with the discipline imposed by the coach, Hugo Broos. One of those players was Liverpool's Joel Matip. Allow me to borrow a line from Jonathan Wilson's report in The Guardian:

"So, Joel, future generations will ask, what was the atmosphere like for that final in Libreville? “I don’t know: I was in Hull, losing 2-0.”

I went for the Spanish commentary in my pick of highlights. There's a bit more emotion, fitting for a final, than the English version.

Bit of this, bit of that, but a lot

Day -495. WorldCup2018

I may be all over the place today with my thoughts. On weekends, Saturday's especially, I find myself thinking about what I'm going to write all day. With so much going on, I can't seem to decide on one thing. So here goes.

Aston Villa. I'll get this out of the way quickly and it comes with an admission and confession. Their promotion story is turning into another relegation story. After another loss today, the bottom of the Championship standings seem closer than the play-off spots. I can't tell you for sure as I cannot face actually looking at the table. I have so sub-consciously given up that late this evening I came across their result by accident. I was out all day with no opportunity to be online and even though I knew they were playing late today I completely forgot to check their result. This would not have happened prior to this season. It is a shocking state of affairs in my support for them.

In Italy, Napoli beat Bologna 7-1. It was their biggest ever away win in Serie A. Two players, Hamsik and Mertens, scored a hat-trick. The best part for me though was on social media. It really has added a fun, live dimension to football. This was the tweet from Bologna's English twitter account after the sixth goal:

"72' Ok come on now, we've had enough. Hamsik with a screamer for his hat-trick. You can take him off now."

And after the seventh:

"89' Nobody ever scores seven, it's unrealistic but sadly true. Mertens with the goal. Restart the console, TV or whatever."

It's better than actually watching! If you're on twitter look them up (@BolognaFC1909en). They play again on Wednesday.

Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday. Why? Because it takes place on a Sunday. I'm not an NFL fan, mostly because I don't like the ratio of idleness to actual play and because it all seems so planned. The coaches, all 15 or 20 of them, are constantly drawing sketches of where their players should be and calling time-outs to let the players know that their right foot wasn't pointing in the right direction. I jest, you know, all you NFL lovers. It's not my thing but I know it is the best sporting day in the year for a lot of people.

The NFL draws massive crowds. So does the World Cup. But they are not the biggest crowd-pullers. They are both behind Rugby's Six Nations tournament which had an average attendance of 72,000 last year. Football is restricted by smaller stadiums but NFL's massive American stadiums attract less fans than rugby. Surprising, I think.

Burkina Faso beat Ghana 1-0 in the Afcon 3rd place play-off match today. It's the match that nobody ever wants to play and few care about but I knew this result before Aston Villa's. A sign of my disillusionment. Tomorrow Egypt play Cameroon in the final. My symbolic money is on the 44 year old hero. El Hadary.

I mentioned yesterday that television coverage of football in Canada is erratic and it depends on competing sporting events as to how much we get to see. Today was not a blanket football day across the two networks that show English football. One of them had curling all day on four of it's channels. Curling. All day. I do not complain. It's all to do with demand and where the money comes from. I know what country I'm in and I'm sure there were many who enjoyed a day of curling as much as I enjoy a day of football.

I've had hockey on in the background as I was writing this. Toronto vs Boston. From 4-1 to Toronto to 4-4, has now turned into 6-5 to Toronto with a minute left. I can only imagine how much fun the administrator of the Bologna twitter account would be having with this.

What time is the football on?

Day -496. WorldCup2018

There were days, that don't seem that long ago, when I would know exactly what time every football match was on television. It's not the same now. I just had to look up, before going to bed, what might be on when I get up tomorrow morning. I blame it on the time difference, the incredible amount of football broadcast and the myriad of channels that it is on. It has nothing to do with my memory, or my easily distracted mind having other things to try to focus on.

In Canada we have two networks that show English football. But those two networks each have a number of channels: some you get with your almost basic cable package, others you pay a little more for and others you get if you make a decision to give something else up for the month for which you are paying the subscription. And every weekend is different for the football coverage. One Saturday we may get 4 or 5 matches on at the 10am kick-off time. The following week there may be a conflict with curling, or the pre show of the pre show of the pre college football match (the American kind) and our kind of football gets relegated (or promoted?) to the more exclusive channels.

I will be waking up soon for Chelsea-Arsenal, to see if Arsenal can get ahead in the race for second place this season. But the big match this weekend is the Afcon final on Sunday. I am very tempted to place my first bet ever on a football match: Cameroon-Egypt 0-0 (Egypt win 5-4 after penalties), El Hadary saves the last penalty.

Happy football weekend, whatever you may be watching.

Cameroon, with a little help

Day -497 WorldCup2018

Cameroon will play Egypt in the Afcon final on Sunday after beating Ghana 2-0 today. And I'm sorry to disappoint but that's all I've got today. And this: a couple of excited commentators, an example of terribly comical defending (what was he trying to do?), some dejected looking Ghanaian substitutes thinking "what was he trying to do?", more excited commentary, a coach doing some sort of Belgian victory jig and an ecstatic Cameroon team. See you Sunday.

El Hadary!

Day -498. WorldCup2018

Essam El Hadary. If you haven't read my many mentions of that name over the last couple of weeks remember it now. The Egyptian goalkeeper is 44 years old, was his country's third choice goalkeeper, came into Egypt's first match after the Number 1 suffered an injury and Number 2 didn't recover from a pre-tournament injury and didn't concede a goal in that first match, or the second and third and not in the quarterfinal either. He was beaten today in the semifinal against Burkina Faso but was the hero in the penalty shoot out which Egypt won to make it through to Sunday's final.

El Hadary could win his fifth Afcon and Egypt their eighth title, the most by any country. He saved two penalties today and that would make any goalkeeper a hero let alone the 44 year old on a fairytale run. To make the today's story even more interesting, maybe even comical, is that the first penalty El Hadary saved was Burkina Faso's fourth taken by their twenty year old goalkeeper. Just imagine that. How often does a goalkeeper take a penalty? And here was the kid thinking he could get one over the veteran and, boom! Saved. Watch the video. It wasn't a badly hit penalty.

You can not see Egypt not winning the whole thing now.