Of Blatter and Morroco, Aurier and foul throws, Walker-Peters and slogans

Day -106 WorldCup2018

This may be a bit random.

With thanks to Richard Kory​​ for mentioning it, Sepp Blatter has announced that he thinks that Morocco is the logical choice to host the 2026 World Cup. He reminded those that may still think he is worthy of an opinion in world football that after Japan and South Korea co-hosted the 2002 edition Fifa decided against there ever being co-hosts again. If that is still true than that would eliminate the Canada/USA/Mexico bid. But that was Fifa under Blatter, when Fifa pretty much was Blatter. And if co-hosting is not welcomed by Fifa why would Fifa let the North American bid go this far? They could just save everybody a lot of money.

Whatever one may think of Blatter and his argument, there are numerous reports that Morocco is leading the race ahead of the vote on June 14th of this year. A surprise?

This is a few days old but I forgot to include it on the day. I only wanted to mention in it so I could share a laugh about it. I was following text updates of Tottenham's match against Crystal Palace on Sunday. At one point the reporter noted that Spurs' right back Serge Aurier was penalized for a foul throw. Strange, I thought. When does that ever happen? Maybe the ball slipped out of his hands, I thought. Then it happened again, and again. Three foul throws. What is wrong with the man that he doesn't know how to take a throw in?

Pep (first name only needed) has been charged by the English FA for wearing a yellow ribbon in support of the Catalan political prisoners. The FA prohibits any form of political messages on the pitch. Today, Kyle Walker-Peters scored his first goal for Spurs in their 6-1 FA Cup win against Rochdale. After the match he tweeted how happy he was and "God is Great", accompanied by a picture of him after scoring the goal looking up, and arms raised to the sky. And I'm sure he wasn't thinking how great the snow was. The FA also does not allow visible religious slogans. Discipline for KWP? Doubt it.

Before anybody rushes to criticize me I know that Pep was only charged when he wore the ribbon on the pitch, not a press conference or any other off-pitch event. I'm not arguing for equal punishment based on KWP's tweet but on his obvious "statement" after the goal.

Two more things: I admire Pep for saying he will not stop wearing the ribbon because he is "a human being before a manager"; and despite what I say I do not believe that KWP should be admonished in any way. I'm just arguing the different interpretations of the rules. Players make the sign of the cross all the time. Is that not a slogan?

Pep should be allowed, and encouraged to take a stand. And even though we may argue KWP's statement about God being great, it is probably what makes him a stronger person and has helped him achieve what he has.

Pep should really confuse the FA and sign KWP for Manchester City so that he has Kyle Walker as his first choice right back and Kyle Walker-Peters as his back-up.

A quick final note about yesterday's Toronto FC match. In the second half, TFC's new Spanish signing, Ager Aketxe, 24, came on for his debut. He came here from Cadiz, having started his career with Athletic Bilbao. It wasn't for long but my first impression was that Victor Vazquez may not be the only very influential Spaniard playing for TFC this year.

TFC Champions League

Day -107 WorldCup2018

I'm editing my earlier post as my contribution for today. There was not much to say about the match. TFC played out a fairly comfortable 0-0 with bigger challenges to follow. The fun really was just about being there, but a goal to celebrate would have been nice.

Just before kick-off: "The approach......the lights, the fans, the stadium, the crowd building inside. My fun."

TFC-Colorado: the night before

Day -108 WorldCup2018

Tomorrow I get to see live football. It doesn't happen very often. Toronto FC play Colorado in the CONCACAF Champions League 2nd leg. Thankfully, but also unfortunately (because it would have been fun) it's going to be reasonably warm or at least not as cold as it should be at this time of the year.

Report to follow 24 hrs from now.

Winter Olympics: the end

Day -109 WorldCup2018

Good night Winter Olympics. You were the reason for two weeks of little sleep. And, World Cup, we'll see you soon. I'll catch up on some sleep and I'll be ready.

Everton-Watford: football really can be this bad

Day -110 WorldCup2018

Last night and early morning of Winter Olympics. One big event of the year will be out of the way with 109 days to go to the next.

In between skating and skiing, and bobsleighing and curling, there was good old fashioned football on today. Although "good" and "old fashioned" is a massive exaggeration when it comes to the aberration of a football match that was Watford vs Everton. Old fashioned football would include players who cared about what they were doing and would put some effort into it. There wasn't even a bad tackle. The first half was so terrible that I could not turn it off. The fascination with how 22 players could be so incredibly bad at what they do kept me tuned in to see if they could be any worse. Or, I was asleep with my eyes open and couldn't find the remote.

Aston Villa won again, a come from behind 4-2 win at Sheffield Wednesday. Last 10 matches: won 8, drew 1, lost 1. But so competitive is the Championship that that one defeat means they have dropped to third.

The IOC announced tonight that the Russians at the Olympics will not be allowed to call themselves Russians at the closing ceremony. There were two positive doping tests so far. Both were Olympic Athletes from Russia. Or, because they were caught, can we call them Russian?

That German sense of humour

Day -111 WorldCup2018

Another Winter Olympics late night. I'm borrowing somebody else's banter/joke tonight. This from the German Foreign Office today after the incredible German win against Canada in the hockey semfinals. Who would have thought the German Foreign Office had a sense of humour? But after Canada lost to Germany in hockey what is normal anymore?

"Travel advisory: Germans in Canada should exercise a high degree of empathy. Be nice, don’t gloat, give hugs, buy rounds of hot chocolate.

Just imagine how you would feel if Canada beat us in soccer."

It's ok Canada. I understand things that shouldn't happen, upsets that seem un-thinkable beforehand: Iceland beat England in Euro 2016.

Ostersunds....almost!

Day -112. WorldCup2018

The day that Arsenal almost suffered the mother of all European football upsets. Almost. But it didn't happen and so doesn't matter. Or does it? It matters for their opponents, Ostersunds, the small, come from nowhere Swedish team who were comprehensively beaten 3-0 in the first leg in Sweden. They were up 2-0 after 22 minutes and the upset was on. They didn't make it in the end but I'm sure it was still a memorable day out in London for their fans.

Winter Olympics update. Ski cross. That's what all sports should be like. None of this judging rubbish. Just put two or more skiers on a hill and see who can hurtle down the fastest without crashing into each other. Or skaters on a teeny track, going round tight corners while trying to pass each other and stay on their feet. Now figure skating's on. Good night.

Brazil ahead of the game

Day -113 WorldCup2018

It's good that the Winter Olympics are over in 4-5 days (can't figure out what the day is today, here or there). Then I can concentrate on the big final 100 day countdown. 100 days! Wow. What's 995 minus 100? A lot.

It's also useful that I occasionally go back and check what I wrote the day before. It's usually too late for editing so I catch any mistakes the next day. And last night there was a good one. And again, another good thing, that not many people read this or bothered to question what my reference to "rules won" was yesterday in my rambling about the quantity of stats in North American football coverage.

Rules won? It was supposed to be "duels won". Duels. "Rules won" does not amuse me, "duels won" does. How does anybody measure who won a duel and who actually sits there and counts duels, or decide on what constitutes a duel?

In today's Russia 2018 news, Brazil's coach, Tito, apparently already knows who Brazil's starting 11 players will be in Russia. He told UOL Esportes (reported by Fox Sports, Australia) that the 11 are: Alisson; Marcelo, Miranda, Marquinhos, Daniel Alves; Paulinho, Renato Augusto and Casemiro, Neymar, Coutinho and Gabriel Jesus. He also said that Firminio, Willian, Thiago Silva and Fernandinho will be in the squad.

So will those 15 players relax now and enjoy their football, knowing they are definitely going, or is this early naming strategy an incentive for other players to step up their game and impress to be selected to fill the 23-man squad?

Alisson, the goalkeeper, plays for Roma and it is rumoured that Liverpool are preparing a world record transfer bid for him. The previous highest fee was for Ederson, Manchester City's number 1.

It's hard to believe that the two most expensive goalkeepers in the world could be Brazilian and be playing in the biggest league in the world. The memories of that great attacking Brazil team of 1982 are countered by the memory of their questionable goalkeeping, courtesy of Waldir Peres. And there seemed to be a perception, maybe until Taffarel in 1994, that goalkeeping was not a Brazilian forte.

On a final, sad note Peres died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 66 last summer. He was probably the least admired player of the 1982 team, but still part of a great memory.

Stats, stats, stats

Day -114 WorldCup2018

When the USA and Canada host the World Cup in 2026, along with Mexico, I hope the North American organizers tone down their love of statistics a little bit. Toronto FC are playing the first leg of their CONCACAF tie against Colorado tonight. Winter Olympics is dominating the TV so I checked the live update on TFC's website and was met with a wall of diagrams, graphs and tables..

Amongst them possession is broken down into 5 minute intervals, and passing accuracy includes "attacking half", "final third" and "crosses". And in the list of other stats, with the normal corners, offsides and fouls are a couple that amused me: "missed chances" and my favourite, "rules won."

The most important number, though, is Colorado 0 TFC 2. A good result, but selfishly I almost wish they hadn't won so comfortably so that the second leg that I am going to next week would have been more exciting.

Wigan!

Day -115 WorldCup2018

Wigan. That's the word of the day. Who cares about the FA Cup? I'll tell you who does. Manchester City, who think they are destined to win every competition they are in this season and Wigan who are two divisions below the seemingly invincible City. I said before I wanted to be as cool as Pep in another life. Happy I'm not Pep today.

You gotta love that Olympic hockey!

Day -116 WorldCup2018

There are many who may criticize Fifa and UEFA for increasing the number of teams that qualify for the World Cup and Euros thus making it seem like it's not really the best of the best competing. But then Olympic Ice hockey comes around and we can shake our heads at another federation and the way they run their tournaments. There are twelve teams in the first round, split into three groups. How many teams move on to the second round? Twelve. Argue as you may about the format but they all play each other in their groups and no team is eliminated.

And how about attendances at the Winter Olympics? Organizers of big events, like the World Cup, always like reminding us how many tickets were sold and how many stadiums are filled. It seems the IOC and the local organizing committee have purposely given up on any mention of spectator numbers. Probably because they would be counting more empty seats than full ones.

New York

Day -117 WorldCup2018

New York, New York. I'll blame the city for draining all my energy today. And Fulham, for ending Aston Villa's winning streak at seven.

One day closer to the opening of Russia 2018. One sleep less to go. So I'd better get to bed.

Happy Birthday, Ivan Escanilla

Day -118 WorldCup2018

Today's post is dedicated to Ivan Escanilla and all the other thousands of football players from South America or Africa who are shipped by agents to countries like Malta in the hope of landing a contract with a club, to eke out a living doing something they love and to live the dream of being spotted by a big club in Europe.

Through a chance meeting on a plane between Escanilla and someone in my family I found out that Escanilla was in Malta for a trial with a Maltese team. Escanilla, from Chile, is 31. He's been a journeyman footballer around South and Central America and the most recent club I found him listed as a player with was in Puerto Rico. It's hard to find any news for a player who wouldn't normally be in the news, but I wondered if that club in Puerto Rico still exists after last year's devastating hurricane. Or if the league is still functioning. So there he is traveling to Malta in search of another job, to keep his career going a little bit longer, to earn a few more pay cheques while his body can still do it.

For all the players we will watch in Russia this summer, many of whom have earned enough money to see them retire extremely comfortably, there are thousands more like Escanilla who do not know where there next dollar, pound or euro will come from. Every year, in Malta alone, there are hundreds of African and South American players who try out for teams but are not signed. And then they are probably sent to the next third rate footballing nation by an agency or agent who is also desperate to make a bit of money.

Escanilla was apparently on his way home to Chile to celebrate his birthday. Here's to wishing him a very happy day with good news to follow.

NY bound

Day -119 WorldCup2018

More Winter Olympics keeping me busy today. And on the road to New York. No Olympics or football there but lots of fun to be had.

RM-PSG, skating and skiing

Day -120 WorldCup2018

Figure skating and downhill skiing. Oh, and some Real Madrid-PSG. The not so new new kids on the block still getting a lesson from the old hands.

That was my day.

Video reviews, again and again

Day -121 WorldCup2018

The Winter Olympics vs the World Cup. Two big events that I will spend a lot of time watching. Here's one big issue with the Olympics: too many judged events, too many events decided by what a judge thinks about the way somebody's left skate or ski, or left side of snowboard is pointing when they do a 720 flip, twist and turn. Too much spent (by athletes and viewers) waiting for the judges to decide who should win. Just put four skiers down a hill at the same time and let them race to the finish line.

That's why football is so simple. Yes, there are tactics and gamesmanship, and the offside rule. But the premise is pretty straightforward: both teams try to score more goals than the opponent while defending against conceding a goal. Imagine if Fifia went and introduced video reviews and extra referees and pauses in the matches so somebody sitting in front of a tv screen could decide whether a player's left hip was ahead of the last defender when the ball was passed to him. Wouldn't that be terrible? (V)ery. (A)nnoying. (R)eally.

Mordovia

Day -122 WorldCup2018

Watching snowboarders flip and twist as they slide (ride?) down a half-pipe has lulled me into a bit of a daze. The same thing over and over and over. Bring back the curling.

So I'm borrowing an old newspaper story today. It describes the most unlikely of World Cup host cities, comparable to Manaus in Brazil: a fancy new stadium in a city that is home to a third division football team, and that has a dubious past in Russian history. But they like President Putin.
Have a read.

A good Villa day, but not for ESPN

Day -123 WorldCup2018

I've always thought that this year's World Cup would be a lot more fun to watch if I was also looking forward to a season of Aston Villa back in the Premier League. To be honest though, I say that but I'm not sure I really mean. The World Cup is an event of its own and Aston Villa's good or bad season won't have an effect on it.

Having said that, all I have to share today is what has been on mind since this morning: Villa beat Birmingham 2-0, it's win number 7 in a row and they are now second in the standings. A good day.

I couldn't watch any of the match today. But I commiserate with the people who were watching it on ESPN's online service which seemed to go to commercials at half time and only come back to the football in the 70th minute. Not watching it at all was probably better than the frustration of waiting for it to come back on and missing the first goal.

Costa RIca-Greece at the Winter Olympics

Day -124 WorldCup2018

Why do I watch curling at the Winter Olympics? For the same reasons that I watch Costa Rica -Greece at the World Cup. Because no matter how boring and meaninglessness many other people think it might be, there is still going to be a winner and a loser. And there is going to be a story as to how we end up with that happy winner and that disappointed losing team. There's always a story and a fan, of football, of sport, enjoys that story as much as the outcome.

The day that I didn't get to see Pele.

Day -125 WorldCup2018

A funny thing happened today. Almost remarkable. In what started as a conversation with my family about my Dad being visited in hospital by the President of Malta led to the discovery that Pele visited Malta in the 1970s. And my brothers saw him. And not only did I not go, but until today I never heard this story. The number of times we have recounted memories and in 30-something years I did not know about Pele being in Malta. So take that Tony Soprano: there is value in sharing old memories.

Yes, Pele really was in Malta. The real Pele. There is video evidence.  If you do search on youtube do not be distracted by the videos of the Maltese cliff diver, Pele, and his diving dog, "Titti".
There were other parts to the "Pele in Malta" revelation. My brothers were also present when my Dad had a conversation with the great Sir Stanley Matthews in Malta. I did realize later that I do remember that Matthews was in Malta. But a bit of research revealed a few more details I did not know. Matthews moved to Malta with his second wife, a Communist spy working in the American Embassy in Prague. He also coached Hibernians in Malta and won three trophies in the 1970-71 season. Also, that season, Hibs drew 0-0 with Real Madrid in the European Cup Winners' Cup, probably one of the best ever results for a Maltese team.

And the conversation got broader. We shared memories of trips to the old Empire Stadium in Malta. My earliest memory was of not going to the stadium. It's a story I've shared before of how I waited for my Dad to come home to pick me up to take me to "the match". It was December 1980 and Malta were playing Poland in a World Cup qualifier, but my Dad never came for me. In the end he said it was a good thing because there had been some serious crowd trouble.Today I re-visited the full story. Malta were putting up a strong fight against the Poles and at 1-0 down had a couple of good chances to score. But they didn't and Poland scored a second. But it was highly controversial. The scorer thought he was offside and didn't pay much attention as he tapped the ball into the net. The linesman thought he was offside and raised his flag. But the referee didn't and awarded the goal. The Maltese fans were outraged and vented their anger by throwing missiles of all sorts onto the pitch and towards the Polish bench. The match was abandoned and the Maltese FA feared a huge fine and lengthy stadium ban from Fifa would follow. Luckily, it was only a one match ban.

That one match was the European Championship qualifier in 1982, a somewhat famous 2-1 win against Iceland, played in Messina, Sicily. Qualifying schedules for the World Cup and the Euros were very different back then. Malta didn't play a home qualifier between December 1980 and June 1982.

That previous bit of information of debatable use or uselessness led me to something else. In June 1981 Malta competed in the President's Cup in South Korea. They beat Thailand and Indonesia, drew against Liechtenstein and club side Vitoria of Brazil, and lost to Uruguay's Danubio to finish third in their group. And who won the tournament? Nobody. South Korea and Racing Cordoba, of Argentina, drew 2-2 in the final and everybody went home happy.

Malta played an international tournament in South Korea in 1981. Stanley Matthews left his first wife for a Czech spy. Malta played a match in Sicily because of the anger caused by a Yugoslavian referee. Pele in Malta dives off cliffs with his dog, Titti.

And I found all this out because my brothers never told me that they saw Pele in Malta.

Russians at the Winter Olympics

Day -126 WorldCup2018

It's fascinating that I'm watching so much Olympics the day before the opening ceremony. Imagine there being World Cup football the day before the opening ceremony and match. Actually, that's a terrible comparison. Who remembers a World Cup opening ceremony? The only thing, things, that come to mind are the giant inflatable stick figure footballers flapping around in the wind in Milan in 1990.

What will the Russians do on June 14th, I wonder. Or do I? Talking about Russians, is there not some comical irony in the fact that the non-official, non-Russian, non-team of Russian athletes at the Olympics have an official team uniform? Shouldn't they all just be wearing whatever they want with an IOC logo on their track suits and shirts?

Day off

Day -127 WorldCup2018

On the injured list. No sub. Back tomorrow.

Argentina: history of old-style football

Day -128 WorldCup2018

I'm a few days into a great book which I had been determined to find the time to read for a while: "Angels with Dirty Faces: The footballing history of Argentina" by Jonathan Wilson.

I'm slowly moving into the 1940s and the great River plate team of that decade. Before that I was reminded of how in the 1920s and 30s, Brazil were not the great South American football nation. The team that Argentina always strived to beat and battled with for dominance was Uruguay, who won gold at the 1924 and 1928 Olympics, and the inaugural World Cup in 1930. In the last two Argentina were the runners up.

Pancho Varallo played for Argentina in that 1930 final and in 2010, at the age of 100, he was still lamenting how Argentina managed to lose that match when they were ip 2-1 at halftime and comfortably in control.

But it is something else that Varallo said about his time with Boca Juniors that amused and fascinated me and, without needing to sound like a naysayer of modern football, is a very poignant and then truthful opinion.

What Varallo enjoyed the most was "the sportsmanship that existed, the deep sense of being team-mates, friends and colleagues. I don't get why they kick opponents so much [in the modern game], the constant friction that is seen in every action, at corners or free-kicks. It's a different football.....they run so much. Sometimes I wonder why they run so much and think so little."

Conte: going, going.....

Day -129 WorldCup2018

Antonio Conte didn't get the public backing statement from Chelsea that he asked for. So what did he do today for Chelsea's match at Watford? He didn't pick his new centre forward, bought to fill Chelsea's void in that position, when his other centre forward is out injured and the other one was loaned out to Borussia Dortmund.

Spain played without a centre forward a few years ago when they were so good that the football world would have let them do anything and marvelled at how innovative their manager was. But Chelsea? They lost their last match 3-0, to Bournemouth. The innovation they needed was a striker, maybe two, who can score goals.

Watford, who haven't won a match, it seems, in forever (fact checker: they've won one of their last 12) beat Chelsea 4-1. Conte might get that vote of confidence tomorrow, the one that is usually followed by a sacking a few days later.

Klopp: Pakistani footballs

Day -130 WorldCup2018

Liverpool manager, Jurgen Klopp, does not only coach one of the most entertaining teams in the world right now. He is also one of the most entertaining managers around, especially in post match interviews when he doesn't agree with a referee's decision. Mind you, there were many viewers all over the world today who thought the referee had been hoodwinked by Spurs' Erik Lamela into awarding a 94th minute penalty. This came only minutes after Klopp had celebrated manically when Mo Salah scored what he thought was the 91st minute winner for Liverpool. Klopp, Mourinho, Pep, Conte. There really is no better place for manager-watching than England.

It's too bad Conte may very well be off come the end of this season. Today he asked for the powers that be at Chelsea to give him public vote of confidence. "Appreciate me, or I'm off." To Real Madrid or back to coaching the Italian national team? Bets, anybody?

The footballs that are going to be used at this year's World Cup are being made in Pakistan, by Forward Sports on the outskirts of the city of Sialkot. The company is a company contracted to making balls for Adidas. Pakistan is quite the hotbed of football production. Ten million footballs will be exported from the country this year.

Pep; Russia, Turkey, Syria

Day -131 WorldCup2018

If only all the news in the world today was as entertaining as watching Pep Guardiola in a post-match interview. And this in no way dismisses the importance and sadness of what was the real news today which I get to later. It's again just the reality of what is in front of me and easier to comprehend.
We may mock footballer managers and their many cliche responses but I have forever had lots of sympathy for them and the number of questions they have to face. And because of their obligations to the league and media they have to answer these questions over and over again.

After today's 1-1 draw with Burnley, I saw at least three post match interviews with Pep and that was then followed by the official press conference. The first reporter started off with a real gem:

"So, Pep, in the end how would you see this result?"

Pep: "1-1". (Smile.....irritated laugh...now ask me something else look)

Later, different interview (I paraphrase):

"Your goal came from a corner where the players passed the ball outside the penalty area, rather than crossing it in. Why?"

Pep: "Because there are more of their players in the penalty box than outside....and they are taller than our players."

"So is this something you worked on for a long time on the training ground?"

Pep: (Smile) "Not really."

I used to want to play football like Gary Shaw. Now I just want to be like Pep. Not a football manager, just cool like Pep.

That was happening at the same time as reports came in about a Russian fighter jet downed in Syria. And later there was more news about seven Turkish army members being killed in the operation in Syria to drive Kurdish militias out of northern Syria, not far from where the Russian pilot was killed.

It's a messy, messy situation over there, with the complex web of rebels, some US backed, others with links to Al Qaeda, fighting the Russian-backed Syrian government. It's so complicated that my mind wanders to the simplicity of the political background this provides for the World Cup. Russia, Turkey, Iran, Saudi Arabia, all involved here and in Russia 2018.

Football is easier, but the life of one Russian pilot with a family left behind is more significant.

Russia goes green

Day -132 WorldCup2018

Busy with other business so am cutting a few corners today and called in my assistants, 'Copy' and 'Paste' to do the work.

From Fifa's website: the Luzhniki Stadium, in Moscow, where the opening match and final will be played, "has received a final certificate of pass from international green standard BREEAM."

What makes it "green"? More from Fifa:

• "Energy conservation at the Luzhniki Stadium is achieved through modern heating, ventilation and air-conditioning systems, as well as bringing together all essential utilities into one automated central system. This will allow complete monitoring and control of how much energy the building is consuming.
• Using LED-based lamps instead of incandescent lights will save a significant amount of electricity. The lighting outside of the venue was also installed using electricity-saving strategies.
• Water-saving technology at the stadium will allow hundreds of thousands of litres to be saved during a match at full operational capacity.
• Large green spaces and a high number of trees already present on the surrounding territory were preserved during the reconstruction, while even more greenery was also added. According to the stadium managers, 1,050 trees and bushes were planted, and 15,700 squared metres of flower beds were laid down."

The Luzhniki follows two other stadiums, Spartak Stadium and Kazan Arena, which received a "good" and "silver" certification.

So there you have it: not only new, fancy stadiums in Russia but also environmental ones.

The locusts are coming, or are they?

Day -133 WorldCup2018

Thank you Richard Kory for sharing the "Locust-gate: Russia 2018" news with me.
Swarms of locusts are going to ruin the World Cup pitches this summer, according to Russian Agriculture Ministry official Pyotr Chekmarev.

"We took this statement in good jest. Locusts pose no threat to the football pitches. It is very short grass, and further to that it has been specially worked on," said Alexey Sorokin, head of the organizing committee. He later chuckled and coughed, "fake news", but quickly released another statement (amid unconfirmed reports that President Putin had been on the phone) that the Russia 2018 organizing committee does not wish to be associated in any way with a trend and a term initiated by the President of the big country that Russia is currently having some questionable relationships with.

Even later, video footage emerged of Sorokin with his old buddy Vitaly Mutko (former organizing committee head) laughing as they watched reports of the CAS overturning the lifetime bans imposed by the IOC on 28 Russian athletes. "Ha! We fooled them all, Lifetime bans? Bah? All we needed were some good lawyers. Locusts? Seriously? Who's that guy at the Ministry who thinks we can't talk our way out of a locust threat. By the way Alexey, how are you going to deal with those damn locusts?"