Malta-England: decoding the headlines

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An online headline will never be as telling for me as it will be tomorrow late afternoon. As I excitedly approach New York for a weekend of US Open tennis, my mind will be on what I'm going to read when I stop driving, reach for my phone and search for the Malta-England result.

There are one of two websites I will check first, BBC or The Times of Malta. It''ll probably be the BBC first, just because it seems easier. I've gone over the potential headlines in my head and how the first two words may give away what happened and determine my emotional reaction.

On the BBC:

" Lucky England......" Damn, it was close but we lost. Agh, if it was so close couldn't we have at least got a draw?

"Dominant England..." I'm scared to check the result.

"Lacklustre performance..." Hold on, this could be good or bad. A scrappy 1-0 win for England or a draw? Must read more.

"Lowest point...." Yes! We beat them, or at least a draw.

The Times:

" Battling Malta...." Not again. Enough with the battling. Just get a result already.

"Plucky Malta..." Battling, plucky. Same thing. We lost badly.

"Defensive Malta...." We lost badly and didn't even got a shot at goal. Even the reporter is fed up and is just being polite.

"Malta succumbs..." Succumbs not good. Succumbs to superior English performance, to late winner?

"English relief....." Another way of confirming we lost.

"Schembri last....." ....minute winner? We all dream about it, don't we?

What if the first thing I see is a Facebook post by a friend of mine. How will he/she sum it up in a few words? How's that for a challenge? The emotions and associations generated from two or three words. The way those words are received are also influenced by the state of mind and expectations of the reader (me): resigned to news of a defeat but hoping for a miracle.

Of course, ironically after tomorrow is over I'll be back to supporting England come Monday and hoping they make it to Russia. I just want that one huge bit of good news for Malta.

Malta-England: memories with Dad

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Like many other boys I started watching football with my Dad. At the beginning I thought he knew everything about football. We watched, I learned. Over the years, as probably with many other boys, I realised what my older brothers must have already known, that he didn't actually know everything. He knew his stuff. He knew about Billy Wright and Wolves (greatest team in the world) and Honved (who beat the greatest team in the world) and the teams that visited Malta after the war, and that all Maltese football matches were settled by bribes and not on the pitch. And so his comments became amusing, entertaining, frustrating, endearing.

"They train all week, that's all they do. They get paid to do this and they can't even shoot straight. Pathetic."

There was a lot of England watched on TV and Malta watched live. The pattern of comments was repeated over the years.

At the start of an England match:

"Oh no, he's playing again. Why do they always choose him? Surely, there are better players in England."

Five to ten minutes in:

"Always the same England. They don't know what to do with the ball. You watch Brazil and Germany, they pass they move. The English players are standing still."

Throughout the match:

(Groan after groan) "Why do they keep passing backwards? Come on. Pass it forward. Now they're trying to walk it in. Shoot man! Shoot!. What kind of shot was that?"

It probably started in the early eighties.

"Shilton? Look at that. He's too old. Isn't there a younger goalkeeper"

"Butcher, Robson.... time to get rid of them. Get some younger players."

"Ah Vinegar...Lineker? I like him. He's quick, moves a lot. This is what England need.'

"That Lineker is so lucky. He just always happens to be in the right place at the right time. He just waits for the ball in the penalty box. He never touches the ball otherwise."

"On no, Lineker's coming on? I should turn it off now."

"What's his name. Gas...what? Gascoigne? Is he good? Never heard of him."

"Ah, this is what England need. Gascoigne dribbles, shoots. (Sitting up straighter) He's good."

"Gascoigne again? Where has he been for the last year. Injured? Really? I just don't think he's that good."

And on and on it went. Always entertaining, wouldn't have been the same without the commentary and Mum going between laughter and annoyance. "Is Eastenders on yet. Aidan, can you turn it on for me on the other TV?"

Fast forward to 2014 and a phone conversation with him after England's first match at the World Cup in Brazil, which they lost but nonetheless:

"England had all these young players. I don't know most of them but they looked good. They passed, they moved well."

I don't remember talking to him after Iceland beat England at Euro 2016. But I can just imagine what he thought of all those now not so young players.

Concurrently, there were trips to "the stadium" to watch Malta play.

"I wonder how much we'll lose by today."

"Look at the other team even while they are warming up. Look at the ball control and they look like they know what they are doing."

"Malta can't get the ball out of their own half, unless they kick it as hard as they can."

"Pass it, pass, don't just kick it to the other half."

"Get rid of it. Why are they trying to pass it around? Just kick the ball away."

"Wonderful. Look at the other team how they are always moving. And the ball control."

"Malta's players are just standing still. Nobody knows how to move for the ball."

"In the past we had some really good players. I could mention a few. I don't even know any of these players now."

"John Buttigieg? Why did Brentford think he was so good. Look at him. All his fault."

"Carmel Busuttil. He's like a foreigner. Look how much he moves."

The manager's Maltese...he doesn't know what he's doing. We need a foreigner.......Malta should just give up...why do they even bother playing these teams.

So what happens on Friday when pathetic England play terrible Malta? The clash of anti-support for two teams will be very entertaining. Which way does he go? What will win him over in the first few minutes: England playing like Brazil ("but it's only Malta") or Malta trying to play proper football ("but they should stop trying to play all these passes").

I wished I could be there to be at the match. But this is also one time I would have loved to have been there, sitting with my Dad, listening to what he has to say, biting my tongue, getting crackers for him to stay awake. We've watched a lot together but never Malta vs England.

Malta-England: the connections

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The Malta team that will play England on Friday could, if selected, feature three English-born players. The goalkeeper, Andrew Hogg, was born in Surrey but moved to Malta when he was 5.
The other two, Sam Magri and Luke Gambin, are as Maltese as I am Irish or Algerian (a grandparent on either side...or is it a great-grandparent?). But they have spent more time in Malta, thanks to a Maltese grandfather making them eligible to play for Malta, than I have in either Ireland or Algeria. I, sadly, never got the call to represent either country at anything. I still have dreams....

Luke Gambin plays for Luton Town in League Three in England (the 4th division in olde English). "Plays" is a bit of an exaggeration as he hasn't played in a league match yet this season. Sam Magri plays non-league football for Ebbsfleet United. With thanks to one of my (many, many) readers,  Ben Holmes, I noticed a link between Magri and Gambin apart from the obvious good fortune at being able to play international football for a country they had an almost unknown link with. In recent interviews they both mentioned how they are looking forward to the prospect of reuniting with England's Raheem Sterling. Magri played with Sterling for England at the U17 World Cup in 2011.

Gambin played for Barnet against Sterling and QPR in a youth match. Sterling was 15 at the time but playing in a higher age group. Gambin was 17. Both Maltese players mentioned how incredibly talented Sterling was at that young age. Their careers took very different paths but, with the beauty of international football where unlike the Champions League smaller teams can still dream, on Friday a 4th division player and a non-league player will be on the same pitch as the Premier League star. And that's just two of the Maltese players. The majority of the rest of them play in the Maltese league, at a level similar of maybe lower to that of Magri and Gambin.

Malta's team has three more overseas based players: Zach Muscat plays in the Italian third division; Andre Schembri plays in Cyprus' top division; Jean Paul Farrugia plays in the Swiss second division. And an honourable mention has to go to the evergreen Michael Mifsud, the former Coventry City hero, who in his heart is still playing for one of the biggest teams in Europe.

If you hadn't realised already what a mismatch this is on Friday, doesn't that put it into perspective? How are Malta's players even supposed to compete with England?To frame it differently, it's like Lincoln City or Sutton United playing a Premier League team in the FA Cup. Impossible, right? Well, no. But it is an FA Cup super-upset kind of gulf in class.

As the experts say the match starts as a draw. And it's up to England to change that. The longer it remains as it started the more I will wonder if the impossible may happen. But in the end it won't matter too much, because it's in Malta's next match on Monday when I'm looking forward to a real chance at a win against our fellow group minnows, Scotland.

Malta-England: the fans are here (there)

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Yes, yes, I know. That story. I will get to it.

In the meantime how do you build excitement for an event that is happening six time zones away and you are not surrounded by anyone else who is talking about it? You go on twitter and read about what the England supporters are doing: those in Malta already and others counting the days. The fans in Malta have found the two main areas to congregate: Qawra and St. Julians. The latter seems to be the more popular: "bars do something like 60 shots for £20", "Clubs are bars everywhere round here!"

Hotel names exchanged, meeting points arranged and the flags are flying. I've seen Blackpool, West Bromwich Albion and Merstham FC. Merstham. yes. Formed in 1892, currently play in the Bostik League Premier Division.

And to really set the scene: "England everywhere in Malta right now! Absolute scenes."

To counter the English support I came across a Maltese fan's tweet with a picture of the 4000 flags ready to be handed out to the South End Core supporters. He's pumped. He's ready, for #MltvsUK. I guess he's just getting ready for Malta's match against Scotland on Monday. Tweets for two matches in one. Save some characters. Just bring on the whole of the UK.

Tomorrow, I need to find some videos. Maybe I'll get some help....maybe?

Malta-England: as my Dad sees it

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I have this fumy story in my head which I keep repeating and adding to everyday. It's about what will happen when my Dad watches England play Malta on Friday and years of criticizing both countries' teams incessantly comes to a head. It's an amusing story in my head, as it always was to the rest of my family. But what happens on Friday: does it all balance out? As I see it England are in a no-win situation anyway in my Dad's eyes. Win, "well what do you expect, they're playing Malta who are as terrible as they were last time they played England in 1971". Draw or lose, "terrible England, all these years watching them and they are still not getting any better."

I'm going to stop making excuses about late nights and try writing it out soon. It might not be that funny. Stay tuned.

Malta-England: the fans will enjoy it

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Six days to go until the biggest match of this round of qualifiers for me. The Malta-England match will be quite the occasion for many Maltese football supporters, but a big part of the fun is the arrival of all the English supporters. You would almost think, Why bother? Why come support their team in a match they should win comfortably. But on the other hand: a holiday in Malta, with an England match thrown in? Better than going to Kazakhstan. And, indeed, a quick read of the England supporters forum online shows they are looking forward to a big party. It'll be fun. And I guarantee there will be one or two dumb locals who will think drunk England fan=hooligan and be ready to pick a fight. But I hope not.

Malta-England: one week to go

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Oh these days are just too short. Everything in my head is going to take a while to make it here. Here's a sign of my level of distraction (from football, the only thing that counts right?): late this evening I saw that Aston Villa drew with Bristol City today. If I did know that they were playing on Friday this week I completely forgot about it. I shouldn't even admit to it. What kind of fan am I?

In a week from today, Malta may be celebrating a close defeat against England. England will not celebrate a win, but their manager, Gareth Southgate, will talk about what a tough match it was and the difficulty of the conditions, and all that's important are the three points.

Or maybe....it'll be a different story next week.

Malta-England: a special occassion

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I should have know better yesterday than to say I would carry on with my Malta-England theme today. It's too late to write the story I had in my head. Tomorrow? Maybe.

I will say that this is the first time in my life that Malta are playing a competitive match against England at home. It's pretty special, if you are a football fan. (I'm trying to think of a comparison here for a film lover, or an art lover but am blank. So fill in your own blanks for comparison). It's even more special if you grew up watching Malta and always wishing and hoping for the one big result, and if you also grew up watching England at World Cups and wishing and hoping for the one big result. And now the two worlds collide.

Now the next super special thing would be to be in Malta when they play England. Maybe next time.

Malta-England: coming soon

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August used to mean the start of the football season and a break shortly after for a round of meaningless friendlies. Thankfully, the latter is over and next week it's the real deal with World Cup qualifiers starting on Wednesday . There's action all over the place and I'll be looking forward to it all.

Of course, the biggest one will be Malta-England on Friday, September 1st. It's an interesting emotional battle of my support, but Malta will always be my number 1. More tomorrow.

American road trip?

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Ah, home. Four days on the road. Eclipse viewing done. Made me think about another North American road trip. Football stadiums (and matches) and cities of MLS and United Soccer League. There's so much to see across this continent. Why not throw in some football as well.

And to make the long drive home better I saw Aston Villa scored 4 goals in a match for the second time in four days. Wigan were the victims today in the League Cup. Both times I only got the result after a quick stop with WiFi. Maybe that has to be my superstitious way of following Villa, as a modern alternative to the turning off of the radio many years ago. They always seemed to score when I turned it off.

Solar eclipse

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And today was the day I witnessed a total solar eclipse. A once in a lifetime experience? Not if I'm in Toronto for the next one in 2024.

We drove for two days for this. If the World Cup was in the US and Canada in 2026 I would easily drive all over North America to watch it. That would be an unforgettable experience.

Eclipse traffic got the better of us and we're back in Cincinnati again. I'm going to remember FC Cincinnati from now. Never saw them play, didn't know they existed until two days ago. But Cincinnati seems like a pretty cool city and one day I should come back to watch their football team.

FC Louisville

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It's not quite the Maracana and a little more than the New Recreation Ground, until recently the home of Grays Athletic. Today I managed to get into the home of FC Louisville. A baseball game had just ended at Louisville Slugger Field (what a great name), the stadium that FC Louisville share with the baseball team. Sadly, even though I tried there were no football shirts for sale, only baseball.

Baseball stadiums were made for baseball and are not extremely football friendly. The majority of them have three sides, three sides for fans and an open side. Viewing is not perfect from every seat for football but, as a workable option for a new football team, it works to be able to use an existing stadium. But apart from the spectator issues what gets me is the removal of the dirt track between the bases and, even more, the elimination of the pitcher's mound. In time for Louisville's inaugural season the mound was fitted with a retractable jack to make it level for football. It's something the groundsmen at Wembley of the Bernabeu don't have to consider.

The team started was founded in 2014 after a group of football supporters in the city campaigned for a professional team. As Orlando were moving to the MLS a 'franchise' was available in the United Soccer League and Louisville bought into the league, with the owners of Orlando as a minority investor. Now please don't expect the next few lines to be me explaining franchises in American football and the ownership structure. It's been a long day and I know I've done it already.

A week ago I would have been here for the big local derby between Louisville and FC Cincinnati. My neighbour back home would have been excited for me to watch baseball at Slugger Field. We missed the game today but if we'd been here last week I might have campaigned for a trip to Slugger Field for a football match that would have been similar to watching Gray Athletic play Canvey Island. (I'm being unfair to Louisville and Cincinnati; their league has a more professional set-up that the lower non-leagues in England. It's the small team, small stadium atmosphere that would be similar).

Leaving Cincinnati this morning we drove between the NFL stadium and the baseball field there. Both of them are massive. I mentioned the NFL stadium yesterday as potentially being part of the 2026 World Cup. Americans know how to go big. But there's also the other side: the romantic feel of the old, homely baseball diamond where now even football is played. And when it's called Slugger Field, well.....

FC Cincinnati

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I'm in Cincinnati for one night, so it's a good excuse to wonder about football in this city. The other kind of football was on tonight, and we came across a lot of glum looking Cincinnati Bengals fans leaving the Paul Brown stadium after a comprehensive defeat. But it's only pre-season. Pre-season. Another American thing. They even keep track of pre-season win/loss records as though it's an actual league.

The city has a new football team, FC Cincinnati, that plays in the United Soccer League, a step below Major League Soccer. And the Paul Brown Stadium is one of 49 stadiums across the US that has been asked to declare whether they would be interested in being a host city for the 2026 World Cup as the US, Mexico and Canada prepare their joint bid. There is no shortage of massive stadiums here. This one has a capacity of 65,000. Sure, it was an 11 hour drive (with stops) but it makes me excited about how accessible a North American World Cup would be.

Half way to Cincinnati I was happy to get a few minutes of WiFi to check Aston Villa's result today. I was only happy because they won 4-2. If they'd lost I'd have been cursing the WiFi. The joy of a bit of internet reminded of days long gone by when I'd be desperately hoping I would get the BBC World Service signal on the radio on a Saturday afternoon so I would get the day's results. New medium, same nervous expectation.

Tomorrow, Louisville, Kentucky. Any football there, I wonder.

Barcelona: football time

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All eyes on Barcelona this weekend, as FC Barcelona open their football season.

Nothing says Barcelona, and a symbol of its coming together behind one cause as much as their football team.

#Barcelona

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#Barcelona

Fc Barcelona: mas que un club

Football: more than just a sport, brings people together

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gApaq-QyTJs&t=22s

Celtic, they must, right?

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Celtic might actually make it into the Champions League group stages after today's 5-0 first leg win against Astana. It's a pretty good turnaround after Astana knocked Celtic out at this stage last year. Even by Celtic's, and Scottish teams', standard of ability to self-destruct there really is no way they can mess this up, right?

A few steps below the Champions' League, Aston Villa are doing a good job of probably making this another miserable season for their fans. I couldn't bring myself to mention this yesterday but a second consecutive defeat means that they are already playing catch-up. Ah well. It's a long season and all that. Got to remain positive.

I'll just have to be happy with Toronto FC: top of the Eastern Conference and best team in the league right now. Another cold night in December may be beckoning.

London hooligan office

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"Russia has opened an information centre at its tourist office in London to help ease England fans' fears about hooligans at the 2018 World Cup." (BBC.com)

When I read this the first time I missed the "in London" part and I imagined English fans in Russia running into a tourist office, instead of a police station, to say they were being chased by a Russian mob. But, ah, the office is in London. So English supporters can go there before they go Russia to ask what they should do if they are being chased by a Russian mob.

And why only London, and only English supporters? I can't really imagine that if any Russian hooligans are looking for a fight they aren't going to share hugs and beers with the Poles, or Croats, or anybody else really. And also why England when they still have their work cut out to guarantee qualification? Malta may have a say on September 1st......

Idiot fans

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Malta play England on September 1st in the next round of qualifiers. I'll be driving to New York on the day. A few stops may be in order.

The Malta FA website today proudly posted picture of the fresh coat of paint at the National Stadium and the new bathrooms. All looking good for the English supporters. It's sort of like when the Queen or the Pope comes to Malta. All of a sudden a number of roads and roadsides are spruced up. I'm all in favour of a clean, working toilet at the stadium. I'd be happier with a miracle on the pitch, and then hope no English supporters decide to take out their frustration on the new toilets.

I thought of English supporters today when I read (delayed I know) about the incidents at Middlesbrough last Saturday when Sheffield United fans took to the pitch to celebrate a last minute equalizer, which was then deemed not a goal. The anger continued in the car park where bemused looking Middlesbrough fans, older couples and families, watched the away fans run in and clobber anybody who they came across. And I know football hooliganism in England is nothing like it used to be, but I still think what idiots they are. I hope they watch themselves on TV and think: I really am a plonker.

Kyle Walker clone

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I keep getting this too late at night when I'm at a point where the thoughts in my head generated during the day have dissipated and shrunk to: was there any football today?

A few weeks ago I read a Tottenham story that made me laugh but I only remembered it today when I saw the name of the player again. And now it seems like very old news. Spurs sold Kyle Walker to Manchester City and then who do they have in their team for a per-season friendly, in the same position: Kyle Walker-Peters.I thought it was a joke. Really, They lose one Kyle Walker at right back and, boom, there's another one to take his place.

That Kieran Trippier is injured just adds to the surrealness of the situation. Walker goes, Trippier finally gets his chance to be the regular, he is injured in Spurs' last big pre-season friendly, Walker-Peters put in a man-of-the-match performance in his place in the opening match of the season and Trippier is back to fighting for his place with a Kyle Walker (Peters).

Brighton, Neymar, Qatar

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Brighton and Hove Albion. That's what this first weekend of Premier League football has been for me so far. I came home to the second half of their match against Manchester City and it immediately felt special. Brighton in the Premier League. The crowd was loud and enjoying themselves in the sun. Brighton had a few chances early in the second half and the volume got louder. Even after City scored twice it was still possible for the dreamer to feel romantic about Brighton being in the Premier League. The last time Brighton were significant was when they took Man. United to an FA Cup replay in 1982 (83? 84?). It was the same season they were relegated into lower division obscurity. Now they're back, and you just have to feel happy for their fans. If Brighton can do it, any team can. Even Huddersfield, as Frank de Boer found out today.

So who's going to get fired first, De Boer or Antonio Conte? I think Conte will walk first, disappointed at the lack of transfer activity. His team was good enough to walk away with the league last year but the same players are now apparently not good enough. And he only got to spend about $200m on new players. "But Pep got to spend that much on a new defence."

Speaking of ridiculousness, has that fight happened yet between the street fighter and the other fighter, who we call a boxer? It's kind of gone off my radar.

Petrol and water. Fighters and Neymar. Everybody complains about the price of petrol which over here is now well over $1/litre. Yet nobody bats an eyelid at buying a half litre bottle of water for $2, or close to that, from the same petrol station where they just filled up their car with that incredibly priced petrol. (Not that I'm saying that it isn't ridiculously high, but we can turn on our taps and get water for free, kind of). And while we all scoff at the $300m paid for Neymar, have I read any criticism of the $100m-$200m each fighter will earn for their exhibition of dumb toughness. Football fans are lambasted for feeding the beast, the clubs and the TV companies that support the silly transfer fees. So what about the fans (fans of what exactly?) who are paying outrageously silly money to watch, live or on pay per view TV, two guys beat each other up?

It's not just football that's gone crazy. Mind you, the Neymar deal has little to do with TV and tickets. It's all because the Qatari government wants to put itself on the football map. And now because of them Philippe Coutinho is worth over $100m and some guy who just made a name for himself with Red Bull Leipzig is also going to be (supposedly) worth that much. And it will go on and on. Think about it: the Qatari government have created a very false economy.

But that shouldn't distract from the fact that I think that fight is a dumb sporting event.

However it may help me not think about Aston Villa's 3-0 loss today. Indeed.

Neymar

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Happy English Premier League opening weekend! Let the fun begin. But before it really gets going on the pitch the bigger question is how long before the of-course-he's-going-to-go-to-Barcelona Coutinho drama will go on for. A trillion pounds on offer, all thanks to the Qatari government, and Liverpool are trying to make us believe they are being all "Oh, we're not a selling club" kind of club.

The offers will keep going up, off he goes and Liverpool will splash more ridiculous money on a couple of players they've been talking to already.

Such is the English transfer season, now on steroids following the Neymar bombshell.

And the 4th best team in the world are.....

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There was football on somewhere today, probably. But I didn't see any. Too busy remembering a new name in another sport and wondering where he will be a year from now: Dennis Shapovalov, conqueror of Rafa Nadal in Montreal. The new Canadian phenom. Out with the old? In a year from now when Russia 2018 is all over I may need the excitement of Shapovalov winning the US Open.

Oh, and I did find out today that Switzerland are the 4th best football team in the world according to the Fifa rankings and Poland are 5th. Two teams who have done so much in the last couple of years. Ahem. Both ahead of the European Champions, Portugal.

Colchester: check!

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You can all happily share in my excitement at Aston Villa's magnificent win against Colchester in the Carabao Cup. I read that first as the Caribou Cup which didn't seem that far fetched at first until I remembered I'm talking about football in England, not wildlife in Canada.

It was a hard fought 2-1 win. Colchester missed a penalty and numerous chances. A valiant effort then from the Villains, against a team in the fourth division. Onwards and upwards! Colchester today, Cardiff City on Saturday. Big days for Villa.

Thinking about Colchester

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And I was wrong. Aston Villa play Colchester tomorrow night. One not to be missed. But if you cannot find an online stream anywhere, illegal or not, do not worry. By this time tomorrow I will have a result and opinion for you. Until then, goodnight football fans wherever you are. Which really, by my own reasoning, should be good -night, -morning- or -afternoon because you are all somewhere different.

Looking forward

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Nothing to say. Zippo. Just waiting for the next round of excitement. Aston Villa play Colchester in the League/EFL Cup tomorrow. World Cup qualifiers start again August 29th.

Un-charitable

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Football, football everywhere. But I'm not following it.

I fall into the euro snob category over here in North America because I'm one of those Europeans who don't think MLS football is good enough. It's not really true, because I'm a big fan of Toronto FC. But, I do enjoy pointing out the occasional absurdities so that makes me a naysayer.

In reality I could be called a football snob, or a selective watcher. I don't watch useless pre-season exhibitions. So what that Tottenham beat Juventus (I'm sure even the players think the same) or that Man City walloped Spurs in the US last week. They are un-competitive matches. And today the Charity Shield was on which I will not watch. It wasn't on TV here anyway. It's a glorified friendly match.

I once got into an online argument with a Maltese journalist who was doing a live text update of the Champions League final for his newpspaer and I asked why he was getting so excited about Juventus, or whoever was playing, when I'm sure he never went to the local stadium to watch Maltese league football. So does that make me a reverse snob? An inverted snob? Patriotic? Of just dumb, as the journalist said, for watching inferior quality football? Whatever. Give me competitive anyday, whoever it is.

I look forward to the World Cup, not just for Brazil vs Argentina but also for Honduras against Iraq. My point? I didn't watch Arsenal win the Charity Shield today and so I can't say much about it, except that the BBC told me it was "feisty".

Aston Villa: here we go again

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It started with a draw. Come May, I hope I'm not saying how did it come to this?
A 1-1 draw with Hull City (Tigers?). Aston Villa could have been 3-0 up in the first half. Could've. Could've doesn't win football matches.

For the first 15, 20 minutes Villa looked like they belonged at the top of the Premier League. But that was partly because Hull looked like they were a non-league team that had shown up at the wrong stadium and were somehow allowed to play. Within about 10 minutes I wondered how long before the online talk started about how long Hull's experiment with their new Russian coach, Leonid Slutsky, would last. A month? Two? Defenders didn't seem to know where they should be, and passes were played in attack into areas where a player was expected to be. So, I thought, either they don't understand Slutsky's instructions, or they can't be bothered with trying to understand, or Slutsky doesn't quite know what his plan is. Or his coaching staff told him that Gabby Agbonlahor was a really good player who should be taking Neymar's place at Barcelona. And the whole of the Hull team were paralyzed with fear at the sight of Villa's Messi.

And then the second half came about. And I though this Slutsky character must have given the best halftime pep talk ever. His team were buzzing all over the place. And Villa's players seemed to forget if they had a plan. That, or maybe the 9 players realized that their two forward men, Agbonlahor and Scott Hogan, really aren't that good. So there was no real incentive to pass the ball up ahead to them.
And I thought how long before the online talk starts about how much longer Villa's experiment with a good old, real football man Steve Bruce will last. Another month? Two?

Villa almost got their late winner but Andre Green, their highly rated young saviour, the player for the future, managed to get behind the Hull goalkeeper and got caught in two minds between whether he was defending or attempting to score. He combined an attempt at goal with a last-man, goal line clearance in one move. And then he had a look of embarrassment and bewilderment on his face at the same time. Yes, Andre, you really did just manage to do what you just did.

Leonid Slutsky. His is an interesting story. The short version. He decided he wanted to coach in England. Roman Abramovich is a big fan. He brought Slutsky to England, put him up, mentored him in the finer skills needed to deal with English club owners and encouraged him to learn English. And then the former CSKA Moscow and Russia manager got his dream job, with Hull. That's unfair, I know. Hull is probably his stepping stone to bigger things in England. And that's probably unfair again. I'm sure Hull is a wonderful football club with great ambition.

If you do ever watch Hull, I have to post a warning for anybody who feels very uneasy watching another human being and his nervous twitches. We got many shots of Slutsky on the Hull bench. Or in front of the bench. And it didn't take me long to wonder whether the cameraman and director were getting some sick pleasure out of making us the viewers watch Slutsky's routine over and over again: start at the centre of the dugout, 5 steps to the right, turn around, back to the centre, adjust/fidget with/grab belt buckle with two hands, 5 steps to the left, back to the centre, adjust/fidget with/grab belt buckle with two hands. Nervous? I was by the end of it. Worried that I was going to have to see the big Russian man grab his belt buckle yet again. Abramovich's house keepers are going to wonder why their boss's guest's white shirt in his laundry pile has a crease just where it would sit above his waist line, right above where his trousers button up. Yes, it was that visible.

And that was opening day of the English Championship for me. Surely, the Premier League next weekend can't be this intriguing.

Dr. Tony: will it work this time?

Day -313 WorldCup2018

At 5.30pm tomorrow, England time, it all starts again: the weekly hope for a good result that will lead to Aston Villa's promotion back to the land of riches that might not see them be able to afford the next Neymar-esque transfer, but they might have a bit more money in the bank to afford more than a few end-of-their-career freebies. A $100m Man City type defence might be possible.

But it's not about the money, is it? It's about competing with the best. The financial returns for Villa's owner, Dr. Tony, are of minor importance. It's all about the fans and the glory. Premier League, here we come.

Neymar vs Trevor Francis

Day -314 WorldCup2018

There's only one thing to say about what happened in the world of football today, and it's beyond just the football world:

"PSG sign Neymar for world record £200m."

The significance. The implications. Reflect and discuss.

In 1975 Giuseppe Savoldi was transferred from Bologna to Napoli for €1.2m, a record fee. In 1976 Vicenza paid £1.75m for Paolo Rossi. In 1979 Trevor Francis became the first €1m player in England.

Next?

MLS All Stars

Day -315 WorldCup2018

Kaka, David Villa, Giovinco, Schweinstieger all on the same team playing against Real Madrid. Sound like a dream? It's real and happening now. It's the Major League Soccer All Star game. Throw in a couple of America's best, Altidore and Bradley, and it's quite the lineup.

I wouldn't be surprised if when Sergio Ramos tackled Kaka, he didn't whisper in his ear, "so how's the golden retirement in Orlando going?" Or did Toni Kross say to Schweinstieger, "do these people in Chicago still think you're going to help them win the World Cup? Don't they know you only came here to pretend to play good football? Oh, and have you explained the World Cup thing yet?" And Isco to Giovinco, "what happened? You could be in my position. What did you come waste your time over here for?" And any Real player to David Villa, "Calm down. You're not playing for Barca anymore. And we don't care about this match anywhere near as much as you do anyway."

All Star games are an amusing, to me, staple of any major North American League. Whereas in the other sports, baseball, hockey, NFL, basketball, it's the best players from each conference or league that play each other, MLS is smart enough to know that having their best play one of the most recognizable teams in the world will draw a much bigger crowd. The feeling of it being an exhibition is just too prevalent, though. The MLS players all have matches on the weekend so even though they want to make a point against the real stars, especially David Villa, they are also under instructions to take it easy. And so Madrid, or whichever team it happens to be in a particular year, are probably caught between trying to put on a show of how good they and knowing that they can't really go all out against a team that is not really a team.

So what happened? I don't know because I gave up after a half hour. An exhibition only has any enjoyment value if you're there. It's worse than a friendly, for everybody except David Villa.

"Daddy, why does he have David Villa on his shirt and not just Villa?"

"Because he's the opposite of Kaka and Isco, the one name players. He is always known as David Villa."

Was he always? Am I not mistaken that when he played for Spain he was D. Villa? Today he probably wanted to be known as David Villa, who used to play for Barcelona "and when I see that white shirt of Real al I want to do is win...WIN!"

In other news, Scotland's incredible champions from last season, kept the naysayers (yours truly included) away for a couple more weeks with a 1-0 win away to Rosenborg that puts them in the "you're almost there" round of the Champions League.

Champions League qualifying

Day -316 WorldCup2018

Qarabag, of Azerbaijan, today became the first two team to qualify for the Champions League play-off round. The rest of the teams will be known tomorrow after the rest of the second leg matches. They will join the other teams who didn't have to go through the qualifying rounds to be in the play-off round. The winners of that round will join the even more privileged teams in the group stages, the teams who were off playing money making exhibition matches in America and Asia while the Champions of smaller nations were playing qualifying matches at the beginning of July, a few weeks after the end of the previous season.

I love how UEFA calls this round the play-off round whereas all the ones before were qualifying rounds. It adds a bit more glamour and prestige, I guess.

One team looking to not suffer the humiliation of an an early, pre-play-off round exit is Celtic. After running away with the Scottish league last year, literally out of sight by December, they found their Norwegian opponents Rosenborg a bit tougher then Hearts, Inverness or even Rangers. They go to Norway not defending a lead but needing to score after a 0-0 draw.

I would have marked Olympiacos-Partizan Belgrade down as a big one for this round with matches between Serbian and Greek teams, in any sport, always seemingly tight and passionate. However, after Olympiacos won 3-1 in Belgrade the second leg could be a formality. But I will be imagining that I was watching it on TV and hoping for an early Partisan goal to make it interesting. Come December and a meaningless last round group stage match it is winner takes all matches like this that I will be wishing we could see more of.